Learning When To Let Go............

Hi Gang!

Happy Sunday to you all!

It's sunny 😎 and 59* here in Wisconsin.  I hope you're having beautiful weather wherever you are today!

Today's Thought Path is .....

Learning When To Let Go...........................

Are you someone who loves fast and falls hard?  I'm definitely one of those people.  When I do, I put everything into it.  Unfortunately, the other person doesn't usually do that, which is heartbreaking for me.

The other heartbreaking part for me is learning when to let go.  I always hold out hope that things will change and the other person will change his mind.  That doesn't happen.

I set myself up for a letdown yet again last night.  I was singing at a function and invited someone to come to listen.  He chose to be with his friends and totally blow off my feelings.

I keep telling myself that not everyone is into everyone and that's ok.  My mind gets it, but my heart has a heck of a time accepting that.  My heart always wants to give a multitude of chances even though my brain is kicking my heart saying 'When on earth are you going to get the picture???'.  

Ahhhhh........the heart can be so easily deceived, can't it?

For most of my life I've always depended on someone else to make me happy.  I know that sounds terrible, but I guess I was conditioned that way.  If the other person was having a good day, I could have a good day as well.  If the other person was in the pit, I'd fall right in with them.  

I have so much to be thankful for in life and need to learn not to depend on anyone but God for my happiness.   He's the only one who is truly faithful and doesn't change, nor does He lie.  

Side note......the person I invited last night has messaged me this morning asking how last night went.  I've not yet responded and not sure if I even will.  I deserve so much better treatment than what he's capable of giving.  I wish him the best, but he must move on and so must I.

I had a dream the other night that I was with a man so loving and kind.  We were perfect for each other, loving each other to the fullest and could make each other laugh.  We were so supportive of one another.  It was the most beautiful dream I've ever had.  At least for a few brief moments in a dream I truly felt what it feels like to be so totally & completely loved.  I'm so thankful that God gave me that brief glimpse into how that feels.  I can only hope that God will give me that special someone someday.

If you're in any type of relationship where the person is incapable of loving you the way you need and deserve, know that it's ok to let go and move on.  You don't have to settle for less than what you deserve and neither do I.  

I pray that you're healthy, happy, safe and I pray that you have P.E.A.C.E. in your life.

Until we meet again my friends, have a wonderful and blessed week ahead!

Love,

Depression ......... Thou Art Heartless............

Happy Sunday Gang!

So........ It's spring in April.......

It's also Wisconsin.  LOL

This weather is depressing enough itself, although southern WI certainly fared out better than the middle and northern parts as they've been REALLY hit with the ice and snow.

If you've read any of my previous blogs you know that I deal with depression.  I take a mild dose of meds to help out, but it doesn't completely take it away.

A huge part comes from loneliness in the relationship department.  Watching others, either in real life or on tv who are in love, challenges my mind.  While I'm truly happy for them it reminds me of the void in my own life.

Before you start to judge me and tell me I'm just having a pity party, please realize that I'm extremely thankful for all that I have in my life.  There's no doubt about that.  I just get lonely when I don't have a significant other to share life with.  

I know I'm not the only one that has these feelings.  I'm just crazy enough to write about it and expose myself.

I was in a relationship of sorts in the recent past.  Knowing he doesn't feel the same about me adds a bit to the depression.  Also, in all fairness, we just aren't attracted to everyone we meet.  It's just taking time for my mind and heart to heal.  Part of me wants to cry while another part of me chastises myself for wanting to cry feeling that it's ridiculous. 

The biggest issue seems to just be my weight.  I know I'm too heavy, but that doesn't make me a bad person.  Unfortunately we all seem to judge from the exterior rather than the interior.  

With depression, it doesn't just manifest itself in feeling down/blue, it shows up in always wanting to sleep, not wanting to work, not wanting to clean the house, not wanting to be around anyone, etc...  I know that sounds backwards in what I've just been saying about feeling lonely, but when all the feelings work together in the mind, a person gets to a point that they don't want to be around anyone.  

When you have a significant other to share your life with, who listens, laughs, loves and lives life with you, life is so much better.  It keeps you healthier and happier.  

If you have love in your life, be so thankful and don't ever take it for granted.

Also, be kind to everyone you meet.  You have no idea what battles they fight in their lives.

I pray that you're healthy, happy, safe and I pray that you have P.E.A.C.E. in your life.

Until we meet again my friends, be kind to one another.

Love,

Therapy.......Mental Health Care..........

Hi Gang!

We're on the downward spiral to the end of February 

and oh what a weather month we've had!

 From several inches of snow

to flooding.......

One extreme or the other!

Today's thought path takes us down the road of mental health therapy.

In years past (and sometimes still today) many people poo pooed the idea of therapy.  They thought that if someone needed therapy they must be 'crazy'.  It was always considered a stigma and people simply just didn't talk about it.

I, for one, ALWAYS wanted to go to therapy ever since I was a child.  Why?  Because I always wanted to learn how to deal with things in life, to get that outside perspective from someone who didn't know me or my family so there'd be no bias.  

When I went through my divorce, I was tormented by so many emotions and I knew I needed to talk to someone to help me learn how to deal with it all.

A few weeks after I filed I sought to find a Christian counselor.  That was my personal choice because I wanted someone who knows God and would come from a Godly perspective and not a worldly one.  When it comes to your mental health, you must be guarded.  You don't want to subject yourself to information that could be damaging.

I did find a Christian counselor.  She was amazing.  She helped me see things from a whole new perspective and gave me tools to use when I was at home to help me cope.  She also prayed with me at the end of every session and would share biblical scriptures with me.  

I went for about a year and also encouraged my kids to go as well.  We were ALL in need of mental therapy and I wouldn't change it for anything!

A few weeks into therapy I was diagnosed with a mild form of PTSD and anxiety.  She suggested medication and I flat out refused.  I didn't want to become someone I wasn't.  She told me that it bring me back to the happy person I used to be.

That went on for a while, me crying each time during therapy and beating myself up and feeling super depressed while she encouraged me to try some medication.  

I FINALLY gave in and decided to try something.  I saw the nurse at the therapist's office and she prescribed me a low dose of the generic form of Lexapro.  

I began taking it and within a couple weeks I was actually wanting to get out of bed and wanting to put my makeup on and function.  Prior to the medication I didn't want to do anything.  I was simply going through the motions and trying to make it through each day in a depressed and anxiety filled fog.

After taking it for about a year and a half I thought that I really didn't need it anymore and weaned myself off, basically cold turkey and not in a slow process.  As a result I went through withdrawals that made me want to physically tear the skin off my face.  

(This is fact and no exaggeration.  I was in a bad place.)

After being off of it for a bit I realized that I was slipping back into old patterns and knew I needed to go back to the doctor and see if I could get my prescription renewed.  Thankfully I was able to and I'm still taking it today.

Don't get me wrong.  Not everyone needs medication, but if you do there's absolutely no shame in getting on something to help you.  It not only helps you, but also affects your loved ones as well.  When you're better, they're better too.  

I know I've talked on the subject before, but I felt it was worth re-visiting for anyone who hadn't read it in a previous blog of mine, especially in the times we're living in today with all the school shootings and other killings.

People need HELP and the ones who are in dire need are slipping through the cracks.  One man, who murdered 3 people not far from here, slipped through the cracks unnecessarily.  His parents tried to get him help, but because he hadn't been diagnosed, he was considered sane.  Because he himself said he was fine, no one tried to treat him and they couldn't get him admitted to a facility.  His prior behavior should have been screaming red flags that this individual needed HELP, but instead, he was turned away and 3 innocent people lost their lives as a result.  

Everyone gets therapy for so many things, walking after hip or knee surgery, shoulder after rotator cuff surgery, speech after head or face trauma, so why is mental health therapy looked down upon?  It's so important to take care of your mental health.

I pray that you're healthy, happy, safe and I pray that you have P.E.A.C.E. in your life.

Until we meet again my friends, have a fantastic rest of your week and weekend and if you need help, please don't hesitate to reach out.

Love,

Public Humiliation...........

Hi Gang!

Batten down the hatches!  We're in for a snow storm tonight!!

Make sure you have food in the fridge, a snuggly blanket and a good show to watch or a good book to read and let it fall!

Anyhoo.....................

Today's thought path is about being humiliated publicly.  This has happened to me a couple of times (well, more than a couple, but I'll just give a couple vague examples here)......

One time, on FaceBook, I was criticized for a post I made.  The person chastising me was someone I thought was a friend.  While she thought she was correcting me about something that I didn't even say, she humiliated me about it on FB.  My phone started  ringing off the hook with other friends wondering what was going on.  As a result, I deleted the post and unfriended her.  I still speak to her, but I chose to use a healthy boundary and not allow her access to my FB page.

A previous blog of mine, "When To Mind Your Own Business", would have been a good read at that time.  

> Is this information for their physical protection?  No. I was in no danger

>  What are your motives for telling the person?  Attention

> Will this information cause unnecessary stress?  Yes it did

> Does the situation directly affect you?  No it didn't affect her at all

If she had a problem with my post, a personal phone call or text message to me would have been the more appropriate thing to do.  She could have addressed me and at the same time kept it personal.  

Another time was during a meeting.  I had said something that was totally innocent, but someone felt the need to ridicule me in front of our peers pointing out an error of something I said.  Mind you, as I've always told my children, it's not what you say, but how you say it.  This was a situation where you needed to be in my shoes at the time to realize the feeling.

You can say to someone 'Please pass the potatoes' in a calm and genuine voice.  It's well received and the person you're asking will be more than happy to pass them to you.  You can also say 'PASS THE POTATOES!'.  I cringe just reading that, so I apologize if that triggers anyone.  I know that sometimes it doesn't take much for me.  When asked in that manner, the person you're saying it to may either tell you off, not pass the potatoes or shrivel up into an emotional shell for protection.

Now, with all this being said, I know that we live in a culture of easily offended people.  Was I easily offended?  Probably.  

But there is a right way and a wrong way to handle each and every situation.

I feel that its just a matter of treating others with respect.  

If you've ever had a similar experience, you'll be able to relate.

Just remember to put yourself in the other person's shoes.  It will help guide you in how you treat others.

The Golden Rule:

"Do unto others as you'd have done unto you."

I pray that you're healthy, happy, safe and I pray that you have P.E.A.C.E. in your life.

Until we meet again my friends, stay warm & safe!

Love,

Vision Board................

Hi Gang!

It's been a cloudy, cool day here in the hills of Wisconsin today.  I'm ready to go curl up on the couch and watch tv. LOL

Speaking of watching things............. I'm such a visual learner.  I guess you could call me one of the ones who needs a picture drawn for them to learn. LOL  That's ME!

It's almost the end of January, but I really want to do a Vision Board for 2018 before anymore of the year escapes me.

Have you ever done one?  If so, what types of things have you placed on your board?  I have an idea of placing pictures of what I'm working towards on the vision board instead of a check-list type of situation.  

This is kind of what I'm thinking of doing.  I guess I just need to jump right into one and it will be what it will be.  One for next year can only get even better.

Sometimes I think I procrastinate on doing things because I'm scared to goof something up because I don't know what I'm doing.  The only way to learn is to do and so I'l just do it!!

I'd love to see your vision board if you made one!

I pray that you're healthy, happy, safe and I pray that you have P.E.A.C.E. in your life.

Until we meet again, have a great night!

Love,

When To Mind Your Own Business...............

Hi Gang!

We're at the start of a new week and on Thursday we'll be into February ALREADY!!  Whoa time, slow down!

Today's 'Thought Path' is about when we need to mind our own business and not stick our noses into others' lives.  

That goes both ways.

There are times in our lives when we see something that can be a potentially dangerous situation, and that's perfectly fine to speak up in order to avoid someone getting physically hurt.  

There are other times that we sometimes just want to put in our 2 cents worth and it can cause more harm than good.  It can create thoughts in that person's mind that weren't there to begin with.  

You may not always have the full story and jump to conclusions of what you THINK is being said or done (especially in written form without voice or facial nuances).  It can cause a great deal of heartache, headache and unnecessary worry and potentially cause a falling out between two friends or family members that didn't have to happen. 

This has happened to me.  I've spoken when I shouldn't have and others have told me things when they shouldn't have.

While you genuinely care about people, sometimes it's best just to be a listening ear.  We don't always think of what the potential outcome could be because we're just too hyped up to tell the other person about what has happened or what we THINK has happened.  

We have no control over how the other person will process the information once it's been given, but we DO have control over whether or not we tell them the information to begin with.  

Some things to consider would be :

> Is this information for their physical protection?

>  What are your motives for telling the person?

> Will this information cause unnecessary stress?

> Does the situation directly affect you?

Depending on how you answer these questions will decipher whether or not you should say anything.

While we may feel that we want to say something with good intentions, is it REALLY good intentions or do we just feel as though we have something we just HAVE to tell?

Just remember the next time you're in a situation like this to think before you speak.  It could make a world of difference in someone else's life.

I pray that you are healthy, happy, safe, and I pray that you have P.E.A.C.E. in your life!

Until we meet again my friends, have a wonderful week!

Love,

Sharing Your Heart............

Hi Gang!

It's a snowy Monday here in Wisconsin.  While it looks beautiful, I'd be happier if it only snowed on the grass and stayed off the sidewalks, driveways and roads. LOL

Today's thought path is about sharing your heart.

It's one of the best things we can do for each other.  It shows others that they're not alone.  It gives them hope that their situation will get better and can possibly help give them some ideas as to what they can do to improve what they're facing.

The problem is that many of us don't want to share our hearts.  Why?  Because we may be embarrassed or ashamed of what we've experienced in our lives and don't want to look foolish to others.  On the contrary, it can convey such a sense of relief to someone else.

Have you gone through financial issues, a breakup, a divorce, maybe bankruptcy, the loss of a loved one, an accident, the birth of a child, sibling rivalry, etc...?  These stories are so valuable in the right circumstances.  

Please don't be afraid to share your heart.  You never know who you may help in the process.  You even help yourself because discussing your heart helps it to heal.  Keeping things locked up inside is unhealthy.  

I pray that you're healthy, happy, safe and I pray that you have P.E.A.C.E. in your life!

Until we meet again my friends, have a fantastic week and share your heart with someone else when you feel led to do so.

Love,