Hey Gang!
Welcome back to the blog!
It's definitely been a hot minute since I've been on here. Life got busy and I went through some depression, but I'm back and hoping to write a bit more here and get re-connected.
Today's 'Thought Path' is ....
Burnt Out...
Do you ever feel burnt out about things in life? Maybe your job or a relationship or finances or church? Maybe you're just burnt out about the weather. I think that one is a true statement for ALL of us this winter. I know I'll certainly be glad to see the end of all the ice.
I guess what I've been struggling with a lot lately is church. While I love the Lord immensely, I've just been struggling with attending church. I haven't been there in 2 1/2 months. For any that reads my blog that may be regular attendees, you may be gasping at that statement. I'm not here to shock, impress, hurt or offend anyone. I'm merely here to share with you my struggles so that if you are going through something similar, you'll know you're not alone.
I've been saved now for going on 20 years. When it first happened, I was totally on fire. Everything was fresh and alive. The Word jumped off the pages for me and it was exciting.
20 years later....... I've watched the church slowly fade away. While there's the natural events of people passing away which drives down numbers, the kids who were once toddlers have now grown and have moved away. While other members have chosen different churches for different reasons. Politics also drives a wedge in the midst of the body. While watching all of these things transpire, I find that my heart is hurting more and more and I'm struggling to deal with all of it. It's taken more of a toll on me than I ever truly realized.
I've helped with worship a great portion of the last 20 years and to look out at the congregation and see fewer and fewer faces each time is heartbreaking. I've been asking myself, do I continue? It's not a matter of continuing to love the Lord. That's a no brainer for me. He's ALWAYS been there for me and I know He ALWAYS will be, but it's been a question of whether or not to keep going to church. Hebrews 10:25 tells us not to forsake the assembling of ourselves. While I know that to be true, it's also been a difficult road when you see all that is happening within the body.
I can remember when I first started going to church. We felt like a huge family. Now, unfortunately, it feels as though I attend out of obligation rather than any joy. It feels like it's more of a job or a task master than an enjoyment of spending time with my Father.
Yes, I know that part of it is my attitude and I need an adjustment. I know that life is messy and isn't always perfect and I don't expect it to be. But at the same token, it's challenging when you go and feel as though something is broken and you don't exactly know what is broken nor do you know how to fix it. That, in and of itself, is so terribly defeating.
If you've made it this far, kudos to you! I know this isn't exactly uplifting and sugary today. It's just where I am and how I'm feeling. I think we all go through those times in life regardless of what facet of life it happens to be, where we get burnt out and need a refreshing....a revival.
If you're in the same burnt out boat as I am, just know that there are better days ahead! Spring is on the way and I truly believe that will help bring all of us out of the winter blues. This winter weather has been relentless, but warmer breezes and sunny filled days are coming!! :)
Chin up buttercup!
I pray that you're healthy, happy, safe, and I pray that you have P.E.A.C.E. in your life!
Until we meet again my friends, I'll catch you on the flip side!
Love,
