I'm probably the only one here that battles with jealousy.
I'm not sure why, but I've always been a jealous person without much self confidence. I'm sure it's due to my insecurity in my looks/body. I wonder at times how anyone could possibly want me. That's not being very nice to myself, is it?
I've always been heavy and people have been sure to point it out to me my entire life. It's either been my father, my mother's mother, classmates, co-workers, ex-husband... you name it, people have pointed it out as though I can't see it in the mirror every single day of my life. And if people can't pick on me for anything else, they'll definitely define me based on my weight.
I love my boyfriend very much. He tells me he loves me, but it's difficult for me to believe because I don't know how much I truly love myself.
Because of my insecurities, I have a heightened awareness of other women he may look at or talk to. In my mind, even though he has no intentions, my mind throws me into thinking he's scoping out someone else because of how I look.
He gets quite frustrated with me because of my insecurity and I'm concerned it's pushing him away. That's not my intent whatsoever! But that green eyed monster takes over my brain and emotions. If I can be honest, it's one thing I hate about myself. If I could remove the jealousy, I would.
Anyone who says they're not jealous at all is probably lying. In some respects a bit of jealousy shows how much you care for your partner. Too much, on the other hand, can cause relationship issues.
Because I'm also an over-thinker, the jealousy incorporated with that can be devastating. My mind will race to different scenarios of what COULD happen. That makes my mind race even more. LOL
While I know I should have a deeper talk with him, I'm afraid to. He gets upset when I bring up him possibly looking at other women. He tells me I don't have to worry about him cheating on me. So WHY is it so difficult for me to accept that?
It's something I continue to work on to be better and do better.
Do you ever get jealous of your significant other? How do you handle it?
Have a great rest of your week and I'll catch you on the flip side!
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