A Place Waiting in Hell..........

 

A Place Waiting in Hell ...........

Hello all!

You came here and see the title and a picture of flames and think "WOAH!  What spiciness do we have here?".   LOL

I've recently fallen down the rabbit hole of watching YouTube videos explaining domestic violence cases & cults, in particular against children.  It makes my blood boil to see anyone doing abhorrible things to children such as locking them separately in each their bedrooms (not even having the company of each other), starving them, giving them nothing to drink, not allowing them to use the bathroom, not allowing them to attend school, etc...

Speaking as a parent myself, I couldn't even imagine treating my children like that.  Unfortunately, there has to be a lot of mental issues involved in the parents.  As my therapist once told me, it's the rational trying to understand the irrational.  It's difficult to wrap the rational mind around.

Another sad part of it all is that in some of these stories when authorities were told about the abuse, it wasn't immediately investigated, so it therefore, 'slipped through the cracks' and the children's abuse continued. 

Sometimes the whole thing can be a slippery slope.  It can be a couple going through a divorce where one spouse makes up lies about the other in order to gain custody of the kids, painting the other spouse as a horrible parent even though it's not true.  

In my opinion, ANYTHING that is turned in SHOULD be investigated.  If the investigation doesn't turn up any evidence, a surprise follow-up should be done within a certain period of time so that no one is aware, and the truth can be seen for what it is.  I don't know that this is the right answer, just my personal thoughts for trying to help end domestic violence.  If you have better ideas, please share them.  We need to come up with a safety net for children and spouses of abuse. 

Another thing that chaps my hide is individuals hiding behind God.  They profess to be these perfect Christians and end up hiding behind God committing heinous crimes..... abusing and/or killing their children & spouse.  No one typically looks at them because they're a man or woman of God.  They would 'NEVER' do such a thing, but many have and I'm sure many will continue to, unfortunately.   

The thoughts of this turns my stomach.  Someone who is supposed to be a pillar of the community getting away with these horrible acts.  Does no one have any morals anymore?  There is a special place in hell waiting for these individuals who cause others so much pain.

Proverbs 17:1 (KJV):

"Better is a dry morsel, and quietness therewith, than a house full of sacrifices with strife." 

While I haven't attended church in years, this witch still believes in the Lord.  This scripture gives us great direction.   

All this to say, PLEASE, regardless of what you believe in spiritually, BE CAREFUL.  Do your research to know what you're potentially getting yourself into.  If you get a gut feeling that something doesn't feel right, remove yourself.  Don't just blindly follow for the sake of belonging somewhere. 

Blessed Be!

Don't Start A Fight...................

 

Don't Start a Fight, But Finish It If You Have To

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

These are wise words given to me as a kid from my mom.  

One time, in grade school, a boy in my class kept punching me in the back, HARD.  I've always been one to pretty much keep to myself and take whatever was handed to me, as if I deserved it.  

I never went home to whine or complain but would randomly say my back was hurting.  My mom finally asked me what was wrong and I finally told her.  She said, "Don't ever start a fight, but if you have to finish it, finish it."  She told me to do something that by today's tender standards, would probably have gotten me kicked out of school, but she said to wait until we were in the lunch line near each other, not to say a word, but to haul off and slug him hard in the shoulder and that he'd stop.  I did as she suggested and what do you know?  He stopped!

This idea ebbs and flows in our lives from the view of not letting others walk all over us because they think they can.  The older I get, the more I've learned to actually speak up for myself.  It truly sets me free mentally and emotionally.  

I have someone currently in my life who has a tendency to be a bit of a spitfire over virtually nothing and it happened yet again today.  I, in turn, immediately let her know I did not appreciate her behavior towards me.  While I attempted to do it in a light-hearted way, I still meant it.  Many would call it passive-aggressive.  Call it what you will.  It's my way of getting my point across without behaving in the same manner that was just dished out to me.  

By speaking up for myself, it gets it off my mind and heart rather than saying nothing and sitting and stewing, overthinking the whole situation and what I 'should' have said.  I struck while the iron was hot, got the discussion over with and was able to move on with my day.  

Do yourself a favor and love yourself enough to NOT let anyone walk all over you.  This doesn't mean you pick a fight with anyone, but don't allow anyone to abuse you either.  Some people don't have common sense or healthy boundaries, which can be frustrating.  Just know that you are valuable and deserve only the best.

Be humble, kind and teachable. 

Be Aware of Your Surroundings and Who You Hang Around

 

Be Aware of Your Surroundings 

and Who You Hang Around. . . 

Sounds like a no brainer, doesn't it?  

Each and every day we live in a world of unexpected situations.  It could be unknown people around you, it could be an oncoming vehicle, or a dangerous animal that comes across your path.  Someone can seemingly innocently offer you a ride or a person you 'seem' to run into on a regular basis that's a stranger who keeps trying to get close to you asking personal questions trying to play it off as just a casual conversation... when it's NOT.  

If you get a feeling that a situation isn't quite right, don't brush it off.  Pay attention to those signs because they could save your life.

As human beings, I believe we're born to be trusting and caring.  While those are important attributes, they have to be balanced with not trusting and not caring in order to create safe boundaries of protection.  

Please don't misunderstand.  I'm not suggesting that anyone live in extreme fear or paranoia.  But being aware of who and what is around you can make all the difference in the world.  

This is also important if you're a parent.  Teaching your children how to be aware of their surroundings, what to do in the event of an emergency, knowing the names of the parents, their home address and phone numbers are important in order to identify/contact loved ones in a time of need should they get separated from you.

I watch many true crime videos and find that people get sucked into a dangerous situation because of being too trusting.  Remember to slow down and take some time to get to know someone before you share too much of your life with them.  You never know what their agenda may be.

One video I watched recently had a man who answered an ad on Craig's List a number of years ago.  The ad was for a ranch hand to care for roughly 680 acres, feeding the farmer's cows and doing other ranch chores.  What the man DIDN'T know, was the fact that 3 other individuals before him had also been 'hired', taken out into the woods on the rancher's property and shot dead.  He, also, was shot, but fortunately he survived.  The bad thing, at that time, was the lack of internet to be able to vet this rancher to figure out anything about him.  The gentleman who answered the ad was trusting that what was said in the ad to be true.  Unfortunately, it almost cost him his life.  While trust, in and of itself, is not a bad thing, trust given to prematurely can be bad.

I hope you're all staying safe in this crazy world we're living in.  

Blessed Be!!

Church or Cult?

 

I may get some unfavorable comments on this blog, but I really don't care.  I left the church back on 12.08.2019 and haven't been back since.  I still love the Lord, but I hate what man does to His word.

I've fallen down a rabbit hole lately of videos concerning 'Churches' that turn out to be horrible cults.  Am I saying that all churches are cults?  No. But what I want to say is 'buyer beware', so to speak.  If the church you're attending is asking you to do immoral or illegal things, LEAVE.  

In this series of videos I've been watching, there have been unspeakable things happening to not only adults, but to children as well.  A man professes himself to be 'God' or 'A God' and expects the people to do exactly what he says and not to deviate from it or there will be severe consequences.  There are reports of physical, sexual and emotional/mental abuse.

We always wonder..............HOW does this happen?  Well, as humans, we tend to be a trusting sort.  We want to be able to believe that what we're being told is the truth.  

Sometimes we feel as though we're trying to do the 'right thing' by getting closer to God and raising our children to have faith in God because we see so many people going to church, so it must be the right thing to do, right?  And there are also church goers trying to convert non-church going people into coming to their church because they're told to 'go to the masses and share the gospel to "save" them from going to hell'.  

Sometimes it's someone who's terribly lonely and just wants to belong somewhere where they feel loved and involved.  

It doesn't usually happen instantaneously.  It happens over time, like a slow drip of water on pavement.  At first, it seems harmless.  You don't notice anything happening.  The 'pavement' seems fine and unfazed.  But over time, that 'drip' of water begins to affect the integrity of the 'pavement'.  It begins to wear it away slowly, but continuously.  Before you know it, there's a deep divot in the 'pavement'.  

That is the way cults also work.  They lure people in with kindness, attention and promises of a better life.  But in time, after you've 'warmed up' to some of their ideals, you begin to trust them and so even if they suggest something that seems slightly off, you brush it off and ignore it.  Then the next suggestion comes along and this time it can be a bit more of a request and again, you brush it off because 'They're wonderful people!  They'd never hurt me or allow me to be hurt' (it's what you continue to tell yourself).  Then the next time it's not a suggestion or a request, it's a command.  By the time people get to this stage, they've been sucked in and would do most anything because of the trust they've built up with their new 'family'.  

I find it sad when a particular church feels that they're the 'only church' that does the right thing and that if you stop going to their church, you've backslidden and are surely going to hell.  They pray for your return because you can't possibly survive out in the world without going to their church.  

I, unfortunately, was brainwashed into thinking, feeling and saying those same things.  We're not to judge lest we be judged, but what do you call that?  If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, I'm pretty sure it's a duck.

It's a scary thought, but it happens all over the world!  It's mind boggling and yet when you're on the outside looking in, it's a bit easier to see.  

I won't ever tell anyone what they should or shouldn't do. The only thing I ask is that you be safe, whatever you choose to do.  

I'm an Eclectic Witch.  I don't expect others to like it or agree with me, but right now, I'm doing something that brings me joy, peace and happiness.  I want that same thing for all of you too.  

Just be kind to one another.  

Do no harm but take no shit.  That's the motto I choose to live by.

May you be safe in your life and in the decisions you make.  

Blessed be!

What Would You Tell Your Younger Self?

 

What Would You Tell Your Younger Self?

Quite the loaded question, wouldn't you say?  It's one of those 'deep thinker' type questions.

Time passes by so quickly.  It seems like just yesterday I was 12 about to turn 13 and become a full-fledged teenager!  How can I be 57 with 2 children and 6 grandchildren?  Doesn't quite seem possible. 

I've thought about this many different times.  Part of what makes me ponder on this question is thinking about my children, because I'd do it all again just to have my kids.  But if there was something I would tell my younger me, it would be to SLOW DOWN and set HEALTHY BOUNDARIES.  

When I was young, I could see all of my friends having significant others and it put the belief in my mind that the only way I could be worthy in this life would be to have a man and be married, because if I didn't have a man, I must not be worth much, not attractive enough.  How crazy is that?  The first man that would truly have me, I jumped on the bandwagon.  

I would tell myself, 'Are you sure this is who/what you want? Remember that you'll be tied to this person and once you bring kids into the world, you're tied forever through them.  Set aside the sex, how does he treat you?  Does he bring you true happiness, peace, comfort and joy to your life?  If he's not and causing problems before you even walk down the aisle, don't you think you really should STOP and think things through?'  

Chances are, I probably wouldn't have necessarily listened to myself because how many 23-year-olds listen, TRULY LISTEN, to their elders and take their advice?  Very few.  

Take some quiet time and really think about this question.  Your answers may surprise you. 

Blessed Be!!

Silence ...

 

First off, have you ever looked at a word so long you wonder if it's spelled correctly, where it even came from or maybe even forget what the heck it means?  LOL  

Just me?  Alrighty then... LOL

Silence is a word that can be used in different contexts depending on the situation.  The room can be filled with silence, or you could swear someone to silence, etc... .

Silence, for me, is something I need to learn to have more of in my life, as in, keeping my own mouth in silence from time to time.  

I feel as though I can share some things with certain people then realize, when the words are out, that it was a huge mistake.  Then I chastise myself for even opening my mouth.  

You'd think, as I get older, I'd know by now that certain people just don't need to know some things.  I'm a very trusting soul and that, many times, is my downfall.  I have the mentality that most other people think and feel the same way I do, which unfortunately is NOT the case.  

If I can give one small nugget of advice, keep many of your personal thoughts close to your heart, only speak what's absolutely necessary and keep your opinions out of the conversation.  Many times, those words just come back and bite you in the end.

Stay safe out there everyone!  Be ever aware of your surroundings and know this is a safe zone.

Blessed Be!!

  

Save Yourself...........

 

Happy Post Christmas, Yule, Kwanzaa or whatever you may be celebrating this holiday season!

With the holidays also comes a great deal of stress.  Between the traveling and the cost of buying gifts on top of just trying to survive financially & emotionally, the build-up of these stressors, can create short fuses.

While I'm not suggesting that anyone live by walking on eggshells, I am suggesting that you be aware of your surroundings and the temperaments of those around you.  It could save your life.

I keep reading, almost daily, of someone being murdered by their spouse.  This typically doesn't just happen out of the blue.  There are signs/red flags that can lead up to horrible consequences.  

I used to be in a terribly verbally/emotionally abusive marriage.  While he didn't hit me, his words cut me like a knife and left scars no one could see and caused PTSD.  Because of his volatile behavior, once he received the divorce paperwork, he was coming after me and I was told later that he wanted to kill me.  I was fortunate enough to live in a smaller rural town where everyone knew him and our local police department was a tremendous help to me for many months.

All this to say, if you're in an abusive relationship, please SAVE YOURSELF!!  

While I know it can be terrifying, believe me when I say you'll be so glad you got out when you did!  You'll have peace in your life, and you'll still be ALIVE to help others out of similar situations.  

Please don't allow yourself to be a statistic.  If your spouse/significant other has promised you they'd change and they haven't, don't believe that lie ever again.  Because I'm an empath, I kept believing it would get better and eventually we'd be a happy family.  It did NOT get better, he kicked our daughter out of our home and two weeks later I took my son and left as my ex had gotten into my son's face, nose to nose, screaming and I was concerned my ex would hit our son.  I sat there thinking "What the HELL am I doing to my kids??".  

It wasn't easy, but with the support of friends and family, we were able to escape his wrath, and I want the same for anyone reading this who may be in an abusive situation.  

I was extremely fortunate, and I want you to be safe as well!  I don't want you leaving children and/or family members behind trying to deal with what happened to you. 

Protect yourself at all costs!!  We need you around!!!!

Blessed Be!!!

 

A Light at the End of the Tunnel. .

 

Happy Thanksgiving to all who celebrate!

I hope this blog finds you all doing well.  I'm happy to say that for the first time in quite some time, I've been feeling lighter and happier.  Why, you may ask?  I put in my 2-week notice at my current job.  To say it's been toxic would be an understatement.  

Have you ever been in a toxic situation in life where you keep hanging on hoping it will eventually get better?  Me too. I've given 2 years of my life and labor and certain things have not changed.  I felt unheard, misunderstood as well as undervalued.  

I was at my previous job for 25 years, so I'm not a job hopper, but I also don't want to keep hanging around & hoping that things would eventually get better like I did in my marriage.  My mind, nerves and heart can no longer put up with the toxicity and I deserve better.  

If you are in a toxic situation, just know that there is something better out there for you whether it's work, relationship, friendship, etc...  

I've been through way too much crap in my life to continue down another dark tunnel.  I'm finally learning much earlier to leave a toxic situation and see the light on the other side!

Keep your chin up and provide only the best for yourself.  You deserve it!

Pia

It's All Good . . .

 

"It's All Good"

Is it?  Is it TRULY 'All Good'?

I know, I know, you're saying 'quit yer babbling and state what ya mean!'.  

I have a tendency to say 'It's All Good' when someone asks me how things are going in life.  It's my short answer for, 'not the best, but I don't want to go into it & bore you to death'.  

Which kind of person are you?  Are you one to say it's all good or are you one that will tell someone EVERYTHING that's going on in your life regardless if they want to hear it or not?

I can be both sometimes.  If I'm too tired to discuss anything I give the short answer.  If I need someone to just listen to whatever fresh hell is going on in my life, buckle up because I'm gonna tell ya! LOL

Just remember that if you're one to 'spill your beans', make sure it's someone who truly has your best interests at heart.  Not everyone does and just because they smile or pretend to listen, you could be giving them ammo to use against you in another situation.

Growing up I always believed people were good hearted like me.  As I've grown older, I've realized that I was living in a Norman Rockwell type of world in my mind.  More people are against you than for you.  That's so sad to me because I want to believe the best in everyone, but unfortunately, so many people are cut throat and just looking out for themselves.  At the end of the day, the only one you can truly trust is yourself, so be sure to protect yourself.

Am I saying all other people are bad?  Of course not.  There should be a tight circle of people you can trust, but keep that circle small.

I used to think that the more friends a person had was a sign that they must be pretty great and important and special.  I thought because I had so few of friends, I must be lacking something in my life.  I wasn't good enough, thin enough, pretty enough, wealthy enough, etc....  But time has taught me differently.  

The number of friends does NOT equate to your worth.  TRUE friends are extremely difficult to come by and if you have one or two you consider your ride or dies, then be thankful.

And just because you hang around certain people a good portion of time does not make them your ride or dies.  They are acquaintances, so be sure to keep them in that category when you want to share personal information.   An acquaintance won't have your best interests at heart.

Keep your feelings close to the vest and should you need to speak to someone, seek out a good therapist, one who is willing to truly listen and give you the tools you need to navigate this life, but DON'T share those feelings with an acquaintance.  

Protect yourself at all costs and I'll catch you on the flip side!

Blessed Be!

Keyboard Warriors...........

 

Let's Talk About Keyboard Warriors

I guess we're all considered keyboard warriors at some points in time, aren't we?  Everyone wants their opinion heard/read, and so we scream out into the void with our own version of what we feel is the 'correct' response/truth.  

I was reading a response to a special that was recently televised.  Some people love it and others aren't impressed.  I was one of the ones unimpressed and replied to someone else who was like-minded.  

I'd gotten a notification that someone else also commented on that same thread stating that if people didn't understand the premise of the special, that "Again, people who watch these series' assuming they are 100% fact, really aren't all that smart. "   

This had nothing to do with anyone's intelligence.  It was merely how someone felt about what was presented.  

I considered responding back, but decided against it.  What good would it accomplish other than irritating my emotions more?  We have to learn to walk away and shut it off for our own preservation.  

When things like this happen, I often wonder if I should have even put my thoughts out there to begin with.  It makes me feel like I'm not worthy and that's simply not true.  Our minds can trick us into thinking negatively about ourselves.  We need to stop those negative thoughts as soon as we realize what we're doing.  If we don't, it can take us down an endless spiral of depression and self doubt.

Most people, if confronted face to face, wouldn't say the things they type online as they're unable to hide behind a monitor.  There are some though that WOULD say terrible things to your face and those are NOT the type of people you want, need or should have in your life.  If someone can't have a rational conversation with you about any topic, you may want to consider just walking away.  They're obviously unhappy in their own skin and that's on them.

So be careful out there friends!  Avoid those keyboard warriors and try not to be one yourself.

Blessed Be!

Battling Jealousy......

 

            I'm probably the only one here that battles with jealousy.  

I'm not sure why, but I've always been a jealous person without much self confidence.  I'm sure it's due to my insecurity in my looks/body.  I wonder at times how anyone could possibly want me.  That's not being very nice to myself, is it?  

I've always been heavy and people have been sure to point it out to me my entire life.  It's either been my father, my mother's mother, classmates, co-workers, ex-husband... you name it, people have pointed it out as though I can't see it in the mirror every single day of my life.  And if people can't pick on me for anything else, they'll definitely define me based on my weight.

I love my boyfriend very much.  He tells me he loves me, but it's difficult for me to believe because I don't know how much I truly love myself.  

Because of my insecurities, I have a heightened awareness of other women he may look at or talk to.  In my mind, even though he has no intentions, my mind throws me into thinking he's scoping out someone else because of how I look.  

He gets quite frustrated with me because of my insecurity and I'm concerned it's pushing him away.  That's not my intent whatsoever!  But that green eyed monster takes over my brain and emotions.  If I can be honest, it's one thing I hate about myself.  If I could remove the jealousy, I would.  

Anyone who says they're not jealous at all is probably lying.  In some respects a bit of jealousy shows how much you care for your partner.  Too much, on the other hand, can cause relationship issues.

Because I'm also an over-thinker, the jealousy incorporated with that can be devastating.  My mind will race to different scenarios of what COULD happen.  That makes my mind race even more. LOL

While I know I should have a deeper talk with him, I'm afraid to.  He gets upset when I bring up him possibly looking at other women.  He tells me I don't have to worry about him cheating on me.  So WHY is it so difficult for me to accept that?  

It's something I continue to work on to be better and do better.  

Do you ever get jealous of your significant other?  How do you handle it?

Have a great rest of your week and I'll catch you on the flip side!

Do You Get Quiet? . . . .

 Do You Get Quiet?

In my life I've had a tendency to get quiet.  

What exactly do I mean by that?  Well, if I'm feeling overwhelmed, stressed, mis-understood, anxiety, etc... I tend to get 'quiet'.  It's been my go-to response when I don't know how to react to a certain situation.  

I don't know the right words to say so I become silent.  You know the saying, if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.  

Part of it is not wanting to say something I'll later regret and part of it is a type of 'freeze' or 'fawn' type of trauma response.  

I'm guessing I'm not the only one who experiences this in life.  Some people are ready to fight it out, defend what they feel is right... some, like me, just draw inward into a shell until the 'storm' passes over.  

Unfortunately, my quietness can be misconstrued to make others think I'm angry, or that I think I'm better than the other person, or just plain flaky.  

It's just my emotional response.  I don't always do well with confrontation.  It just depends on the situation and the lack of confidence I have in myself.

Empaths also get 'quiet'.

As the picture above states, Empaths get quiet.  We can get overwhelmed as we pick up on the vibes of all of those around us, constantly reading people, feeling their feelings.... and the only way for Empaths to try to re-ground ourselves is to get quiet, to shut out all the vibrations and noises we're being subjected to.  

If you're not an Empath, it may be difficult to understand how we absorb the emotions/feelings of most everyone we come in close contact with.  It's not a choice as it just happens, but the choice we do have is to create healthy boundaries, meditation and even therapy.

All this to say, please don't be too quick to judge someone who has become 'quiet'.  They just need time to process what's been sensed from others.  We eventually come back to our grounded selves. ;)