White Coat Syndrome..........

 

WHITE COAT SYNDROME..........

I'm guessing it's mostly just me, right?  Does anyone else get anxiety even days prior to a doctor appt even when it's just routine? 

For me, I've never enjoyed going to the doctor, but after having had ovarian cancer and thyroid cancer, I REALLY don't like to have my own appointments.  Part of it is because I'll have to hear about my obesity, my blood pressure, my cholesterol, etc... 

Some of you are probably sitting there saying "THEN LOSE WEIGHT!".  What you don't realize is that I've fought my weight my ENTIRE life.  I've been on more diets and spent more money than I care to admit to.

Should the doctor be concerned?  Ya, probably, but I always feel like I'm going on trial each time I go.  

And, NO, I'm not jumping on the 'shot' bandwagon of any of the popular weight loss drugs.  I've read that some experience eye issues, some experience their stomach paralysis... 

Ummmm............... NO THANK YOU!  

We'll see how everything goes.  I know I have to have labs drawn, my weight & BP taken... you know, all the usual things.  While I hate it all, I know it's for my own good, but I still don't like it! LOL

If you have white coat syndrome, just know that you're NOT alone.  Many of us feel the same even though we feel we're the only one right before our appt..  

Keep your chin up buttercup!  This too shall pass! 

I pray that you're healthy, happy, safe.....

And I pray that you have PEACE in your life!

  

Toxic Relationships..............

                                                 

If you've ever been in a toxic relationship, I don't want this to trigger you, so if you're easily triggered, please stop reading now.

I was in a toxic marriage for 20 years.  It was verbally/emotionally abusive.  Nothing I did was ever good enough.  I never worked hard enough, I was never quick enough, I didn't wash his white shirts white enough and didn't iron them correctly.........HELL, I didn't even hand them up on the hanger correctly....... ALL ACORDING TO HIM!  

Things that should have been laughed off, set him into a rage. Things that he should have taken seriously were just laughed off.  It was a very sadistic situation.  I never knew WHO I was coming home to.  

I'd left him a couple times, but only for short periods for many reasons.  I was afraid he might hurt the kids or myself if we didn't return.  I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to care for the kids monetarily on my own.  I was afraid he'd come to the school, grab the kids and take off with them and I'd never see them again (because one time he DID pull the kids out of school)!

I'd been screamed at both in my face as well as over the phone.  I'd had bags of groceries thrown across the room at me.  I'd come home to the inside of the home torn apart with everything piled in the middle of the room(s).  I'd come home to the entire driveway covered with everything that WAS in the garage.  I'd come home to everything strewn across the back yard out of the little rabbit barn.  

I was always on HIS timetable for getting things done.  I ran from sunup to sundown.  My mornings were busy getting the kids ready for the bus and breakfast, then getting myself ready for work.  I'd work until lunch and then use my lunch break to run around to find him and take him lunch, pick up his prescriptions, pick up feed for the animals, then I'd go back to work until 5:00.  Upon getting home I'd have to hurry to fix something for dinner because he wanted to have eaten and be back in his recliner to sleep before he went into his 3rd shift job.  

Don't get me wrong, if anything, he was a hard worker and provided monetarily for us, but was angry and volatile a good majority of the time and when he'd cool off, he'd want to 'make things right' by trying to buy our love by purchasing something in hopes that we'd forget about what happened and an 'I'm Sorry', was NEVER a part of his vocabulary.

Most of the time I didn't react.  My usual response, when screamingly asked, 'WHAT THE HELL IS THE MATTER WITH YOU?!?!', was, "I'm just tired".  

I was emotionally/mentally tired, no, downright exhausted!  He'd be good for a couple of days and then it would be right back to the rage.  We would always walk around the house waiting for the 'other shoe to drop'.  It wasn't matter of IF it would happen, it was a matter of WHEN it would happen.

I never knew exactly WHAT I was dealing with, but I knew it wasn't right as we didn't have Google to look things up at that time.  

He'd had to attend anger management a couple of times only to buffalo the instructor/therapist into believing he was perfectly fine and wouldn't end up completing the full scheduled sessions.  

He's a master manipulator and fanes 'not remembering' the argument that happened.  There was a lot of gaslighting for sure!

I'd tried to encourage him to get on some meds to help his demeanor and that it would in turn help us as a family.  He went on meds for a very short period of time but refused to stay on them.  So, for those of you wondering WHY wouldn't I encourage him to get help, I actually tried!  Our pastor offered marriage counseling, and he blew up about that as well and even verbally abused the pastor in a phone call.  

It wasn't until AFTER I'd filed for divorce, (he tried to run over the Chief of Police & he served 9 1/2 months in the local jail; that's another long story), and he was FINALLY diagnosed with Personality Disorder and Borderline Bi-Polar Disorder.  

I'm happy to say I've been out of that relationship for 13 years and divorced for 12 years.

All this to say, if YOU are in a toxic relationship, you've GOT to make up your mind.  Who is the toxic one?  If it's you, own it and get some help.  If it's your partner, ask them to do the same.  Meds can help, depending on what is going on, but bear in mind it's not always a cure all.  

If it's your partner and they refuse to get help, you NEED to GET OUT!  You need to love and respect yourself and any children you may have to get out safely!  So many times, the toxic one flips and can do something dangerous.  

PLEASE DON'T WAIT FOR THAT TO HAPPEN!

I want all who read this to be SAFE!!  

I pray that you're HAPPY.... HEALTHY....SAFE.....

And I pray you have PEACE in your life!

Living & Learning.............

 

I hope you're all having a wonderful weekend!  I know I'm working on that myself. 

Each day that we live, we learn new things.  Depending on the situation, it could be learning how something works, learn that the lyrics you THOUGHT were the right ones to your favorite song are NOT correct 🤣, we sometimes learn of someone's passing or someone's birth, or you could learn life lessons.

Many times in life we come to a crossroad where we have to make a choice.  

Will I sleep in today or watch tv?

Will I go out for breakfast or cook something myself?

Will I get dressed or will I remain in my pj's?

Will I take the new job or remain at my current one?

Should I go to the party, or should I stay home?

Should I buy the new vehicle or continue to love the one that's paid for?

These are only a small portion of crossroads we interact with in life.

Sometimes the crossroads of others can have an effect on our own lives too.  The biggest thing to remember is that regardless of what WE feel the other person should or shouldn't do, the point is, it's THEIR choice, NOT yours.  

THEY have to be comfortable and confident in their decisions just as you do with your own decisions.  You don't want someone else dictating which path you should take, so remember not to do that to others.  Just love them and support them with whatever path they may take.  

Is this HARD?  YES!  Sometimes it's downright painful because we may feel we can see a better way or the right path for that person.  Unless they're in danger, you need to learn to be still.  

I've been going through something similar as I'm an empath and many times feel like I have the right answer for someone's crossroad, but I'm learning to take a deep breath, remember it's not MY decision to make & just be a source of support, hoping the path they choose is for their best good.  

People come and go in our lives.  Some for a reason, some for a season and some for a lifetime.  Learning to let go of those who've entered your life for a season can be challenging as you may have thought they were there for a lifetime.  Wish them well, be thankful for the lessons you've learned from them, and continue to make the best decisions possible for you alone.

I pray that you're healthy, happy, safe......

& I pray you have PEACE in your life.

Until we meet again my friends, I'll catch you on the flip side!

There Are Days..........

 

We all have those occasional days where nothing seems to go right.  Everything you touch seems to fall apart.  You'd like to just go back home and crawl right back into bed for the day.  

While we'd LIKE to do that, it's usually not an option when we have to work, so we need to put our best foot forward with a smile on our face and try to make the best of things.

What we need to remember that even though we need to maintain a sense of happiness for the masses, that everything is just fine, the reality is that we naturally feel what we feel.  Whether it's anger, sadness, depression, jealousy........ it's perfectly normal and natural.  

You need to remember to feel them, to allow them to happen in a safe space.  If you need to cry, cry.  If you feel the need to scream, scream into a pillow, you could take a hot shower or bath and sometimes we just need a nap or a good night's sleep to help refresh ourselves.  When we're well rested, we can handle things much more effectively.  

Just don't toss your feelings to the 'back burner' to deal with days, weeks, months or years from now.  When we do that, things have a tendency to pile up and we end up overreacting to something small.

Feeling your feelings is an integral part of self-care. Love yourself enough to allow yourself the time and space to feel what's happening and to work through it.  You'll be surprised at the amount of weight that lifts from your shoulders.  

We all need to learn to be better to ourselves.  We deserve it! 😉

I pray that you're happy, healthy, safe, and I pray you have peace in your life!!

Until we meet again on the flip side, TTFN!

Living to Die...

 Living to Die . . . 

It's a beautiful day in SW Wisconsin.  It's nice to see the sun & have a break from the rain.  

I regularly receive emails I've signed up for from several local funeral homes so I don't miss who has passed away.  Upon receiving one this morning, it was of a beautiful elderly woman who passed away in a nursing home.  It got me thinking.

We're born, we grow, we're raised, we join the world of the working, sometimes with 2 - 3 jobs to help pay all the bills to keep a roof over our heads and food on the table with the lights on and the warmth of a furnace.   

We get so wrapped up in the daily grind that we end up forgetting to enjoy our lives.  Before we know it, that dash between our birth and our death has come to an end.  

Do you ever stop to think what you've accomplished?  Was it worth it to 'keep up with the Jones's'?  Will you be buried with all the tchotchkes you purchased in your life?  Will all the money you scrimped and saved be buried with you (or burned with you should you or your family choose cremation)?  

What I'm trying to do is give you some perspective on life.  Yes, we need money to survive, but NO, we don't need an over abundance.  I can hear some of you now shouting, 'I bet if you won the lottery you'd think differently!'.  I'm not saying it wouldn't be nice to have a lot of money.  It's just the point that if you work yourself into the ground for that abundance, but spend no time with family and friends, what good does it do for you to have a million dollars squirreled away, but have no memories of a life well lived?

Yes, be responsible and go to work.  

No, don't take advantage of anyone to get ahead.  

Yes, be kind and sincere. 

But also, don't forget to make a life while you're busy making a living.

I pray that you're healthy, happy, safe.....

And I pray that you have P.E.A.C.E. in your life!

Until we meet again, I'll catch you on the flip side!

Living Life Unsure . . . . .

Living Life Unsure . . . 

Are there situations you come across in life that make you scratch your head and wonder what the hell a person is thinking?

I've been finding myself lately being so judgmental of the things other people are doing.  I'm unsure WHY I do that, and I'm trying to live and let live.  These things don't pertain to me directly and have no effect in my own life, so WHY do the actions of some anger me so much?

I get that none of us know 'for sure' what to do in life.  We take chances and sometimes things work out and sometimes they just don't.  

I believe it comes from being an empath ... when one person is potentially jeopardizing the livelihood of another person or an animal, my inner momma bear hairs stand on end, and I go into protection mode.  

I struggle to understand why some people do certain things involving another person or an animal.  It boils down to responsibility or actually the lack of responsibility.  One time is a learning experience, but multiple times is reckless repeat.  

If you want to help someone, do it, but know your limits and know their boundaries.

If you're acquiring an animal, unless you work in a shelter, plan on keeping and taking care of that animal for the remainder of their life unless it's something dangerous that needs to be dealt with.  

Neither people, nor pets, are a disposable item.  They deserve the love and care we want for ourselves.  They're helpless in many cases and depend on us.  They sometimes have accidents, but that's no reason to get rid of them.  

It's why there are so many posts at Easter and at Christmas concerning giving the gift of a pet.  Some recipients are not old enough or the family may not be financially equipped to care for a pet.  You can look like or feel like a hero for a few seconds, but that animal, if not cared for properly, can be in for a world of hurt, but you won't know because you were merely the gift giver and you've walked away.  

It's also not wise to offer to help someone if you're unable to provide the time and attention they deserve.  While it's wonderful to offer assistance if you're TRULY willing to help, it's an awful thing if you offer, but then make excuses for not helping them.  You'd be better off not offering in the first place.

People and animals are living beings with feelings.  You may not consider that an animal will 'take any hurt' if you've been loving them and suddenly decide to get rid of them, but they too are thrown for a loop.  You've been their human and suddenly you don't want them any longer.  They go to another home still looking for you and feeling the heartache of the loss.

With these explanations, I guess that's why my inner momma bear hairs stand on end when I see people and animals being mistreated or tossed aside like they mean nothing.  

"Do unto others as you'd have done unto you."

If you don't like horrible treatment or to be disregarded, DON'T do it to others whether human or animals.

I pray that you're healthy, happy, safe....

And I pray you have P.E.A.C.E. in your life!

I'll catch you on the flip side!

Loving Someone VS. Being IN-LOVE With Someone

 

Water & Trees......

Sometimes in life we need to get away, to have peace, room to breathe, think and just be . . . 

We can sometimes wrestle with the hustle and bustle of life and we sometimes forget to take a step back and take time to slow down and reflect on life and what's important and what's not.  We get wrapped up in household bills, credit card debt, sick family members including pets, what to have for dinner, buying a different vehicle, what to wear for work... the list goes on and on.

While dealing with life, having love in your life is nice.  It definitely helps to weather the storms with someone by your side to talk things through.  

In relationships,  have you ever asked yourself, do I love this person, or am I IN-LOVE with this person?  Let me tell you there is a vast difference between the two.  You can 'love'/'care' for someone and NOT be IN-LOVE with them.  

What's even harder is feeling you're IN-LOVE with someone, only to find out they're NOT IN-LOVE with you.  Them 'loving' you isn't the same.

It's in moments like those, it's important to reflect on life.  Do you want to continue down this path?  Are you content with the way things are or is it time for a change?  

These are things to contemplate, taking time out of your busy schedule, by finding a quiet place to be alone and think.  While you don't HAVE to find trees and a river, getting back to nature sure helps.   There's no one there to bother you ... no phones ringing, provided you shut off your cell phone! LOL. No one is walking in to interrupt you with questions or anyone being angry.  It's just you and nature.

A big thing I like to do is create a 'Pros' and 'Cons' list to help in making my determination on things, whether in love, finances or whatever large decision I may need to make.  It definitely helps to get things down on paper to actually SEE what your thoughts are.

Always remember to take time out to reflect on things and to take care of yourself!  You're one of a kind and irreplaceable in life.  Don't forget that! 

I pray that you're happy, healthy, safe....

      And I pray you have P.E.A.C.E. in your life!

I'll catch you on the flip side!