Depression ......... Thou Art Heartless............

Happy Sunday Gang!

So........ It's spring in April.......

It's also Wisconsin.  LOL

This weather is depressing enough itself, although southern WI certainly fared out better than the middle and northern parts as they've been REALLY hit with the ice and snow.

If you've read any of my previous blogs you know that I deal with depression.  I take a mild dose of meds to help out, but it doesn't completely take it away.

A huge part comes from loneliness in the relationship department.  Watching others, either in real life or on tv who are in love, challenges my mind.  While I'm truly happy for them it reminds me of the void in my own life.

Before you start to judge me and tell me I'm just having a pity party, please realize that I'm extremely thankful for all that I have in my life.  There's no doubt about that.  I just get lonely when I don't have a significant other to share life with.  

I know I'm not the only one that has these feelings.  I'm just crazy enough to write about it and expose myself.

I was in a relationship of sorts in the recent past.  Knowing he doesn't feel the same about me adds a bit to the depression.  Also, in all fairness, we just aren't attracted to everyone we meet.  It's just taking time for my mind and heart to heal.  Part of me wants to cry while another part of me chastises myself for wanting to cry feeling that it's ridiculous. 

The biggest issue seems to just be my weight.  I know I'm too heavy, but that doesn't make me a bad person.  Unfortunately we all seem to judge from the exterior rather than the interior.  

With depression, it doesn't just manifest itself in feeling down/blue, it shows up in always wanting to sleep, not wanting to work, not wanting to clean the house, not wanting to be around anyone, etc...  I know that sounds backwards in what I've just been saying about feeling lonely, but when all the feelings work together in the mind, a person gets to a point that they don't want to be around anyone.  

When you have a significant other to share your life with, who listens, laughs, loves and lives life with you, life is so much better.  It keeps you healthier and happier.  

If you have love in your life, be so thankful and don't ever take it for granted.

Also, be kind to everyone you meet.  You have no idea what battles they fight in their lives.

I pray that you're healthy, happy, safe and I pray that you have P.E.A.C.E. in your life.

Until we meet again my friends, be kind to one another.

Love,