What To Do When You Don't Know What To Do..................... 

When we are young and have kids, we're enamored by this little piece of us that we've created.  So small, so innocent, so adorable, so unaware of this world... and then they grow up.  

We go through all the stages of their lives.... from newborn, to toddler.....terrible 2's and before you know it, they're going through puberty and a high schooler that 'knows everything' and we as parents 'know nothing'.  😉😉

We've all been through it with our own parents, but we don't realize the entire spectrum until we have our own kids and go through it all ourselves.

Once grown (not that 18 is grown and they'll always be our babies!), they, like we did, make decisions for their lives.  The thing is, we're now on the outside looking in and we know that some of the decisions they make aren't always the best and can sometimes be dangerous.  But because they're 'adults', there's nothing we can necessarily do to help them, depending on the situation....especially when it comes to our kids being married and when they have marital issues.

I'm a Libra and have always considered myself the peacemaker and fixer of things.  I just want people to be happy, safe and secure in their lives.  I'm working on realizing that I can't always make peace or fix certain things and frankly, that sucks.  I hate seeing my babies in pain, regardless of age.  But I also know we're subject to the consequences of our actions and that's how we learn in this life.  Without those consequences, we continue to do the same thing over and over expecting a different result, which is the definition of insanity.  

As a parent, it's difficult to remove myself from situations, to take my hands off and to keep my mouth shut.  I've gotten myself into my own trouble from not remaining silent.  And those were MY consequences.

I've just always been in the mindset that I would take on someone else's pain because I KNOW how much I can take, but I don't know how much THEY can take.  The reality of this is that everyone needs to individually deal with their own messes and I need to just take care of my own.  When I take on the messes of others (my kids), unknowingly I continue to build up anger and resentment on the back burner until one day, something as simple as dropping a pen on the floor can throw me into a tizzy.  It wasn't the pen, it was everything else that built up to that point that I 'thought' I could handle.  In essence, it's the 'straw that broke the camel's back'.  The camel (me) can only carry just so much before something's gotta give.

Why am I rambling on?  Because I want to tell you to be a sounding board for your kids/family, but be careful of what you say in return and careful that you don't try to carry the weight of their issues.  You have enough of your own life to handle.  But being a caring, concerned parent/friend is totally justified.  Be a listening ear, a hand to hold and/or a shoulder to cry on.  Most people DON'T want you to FIX their problems, they just need to vent to someone to lighten their load.  

No one ever said being a parent would be easy.  I can attest to good days as well as struggle bus days, but it's what we call life and we just need to get through it one day at a time and remember our limits, realizing we can't fix everyone or everything.

I pray this blog finds you happy, safe and full of peace.  Life is to short without these.

Catch you on the flipside!

Feeling Thankful

 Feeling Thankful

Spring has nearly sprung and its been a hot minute since my last post.  I've moved on to a new job, but still living in the same home.  That may change, but for now, I'm just taking life one day at a time. 

As I live my life, my new job continues to remind me to be thankful and to NOT take anything for granted.  Life can change in a heartbeat and we need to appreciate where we are and all that we have.  

I see people I know who were once vivacious, now going through the throws of hell that life is putting them through for whatever reason.  I stop in my tracks and reflect on the things I've gone through and how thankful I am to be where I am today vs where I could be.

NO, I'm not making this about myself, per say, just that these encounters help to remind me and keep me humble, remembering we never know what tomorrow may bring or even the next hour or moment.  

I feel as though, we as humans, get so wrapped up in the little things, making a mountain out of a mole hill, that we don't realize we're sweating the small stuff.  That the things we feel are huge, are no doubt not the most significant in the grand scheme of things.  (My nail broke off!  Ughhh ;  I HATE waiting in traffic!!  ;  That vehicle just passed me in a no passing zone!!  Ughhh  ;  My favorite shoe has dog poo on it!  Now what will I wear?  ; Etc...)

If only we would take a step back and ask ourselves, will this situation matter in a day, a week, a month or a year?  If the answer is no, we need to work on letting it go to retain our peace because there may come a day when the answer is yes.  

While all of our feelings are valid, it's more about how much time and/or power we give those miniscule situations.   They say life is 10% of what happens to us and 90% of how we react to it.  

If you have a roof over your head, food in the fridge/cupboard, running water and a comfy bed with blankets to keep you warm, you're more rich than a large percentage of the population.  

Again, your feelings are valid, whatever they are, it's just not good for your mental health to camp out in those feelings for an extended period of time.  Allow yourself to feel what you're going through.  That's the biggest issue we seem to have as humans....  We go through something, don't want to face it head on, put it 'on the back burner' to deal with another day and forget about it................... Until one day, when something small and insignificant happens, that becomes the tipping point and all of those feelings of anger, rage, sadness, (issues you never dealt with to begin with) etc... come spilling out all at once.  You not only hurt yourself, but hurt all those innocently around you in the process.  

Let's face it.  This life is challenging to navigate.  Sometimes we're damned if we do and damned if we don't.  We just do the best that we can in the moment we're in.  

So if you don't handle a situation perfectly, be kind to yourself and show yourself some grace.  A good night's sleep does a world of good as it makes tomorrow much brighter, with a rested mind.

So for this week, think of all you need to be thankful for and love yourself through the moments of discontent.  You deserve it! 

Until we meet again my friends.......

I pray that you're healthy, happy, safe and I pray that you have peace in your life.  

I'll catch you on the flip side!

Pia