What To Do When You Don't Know What To Do..................... 

When we are young and have kids, we're enamored by this little piece of us that we've created.  So small, so innocent, so adorable, so unaware of this world... and then they grow up.  

We go through all the stages of their lives.... from newborn, to toddler.....terrible 2's and before you know it, they're going through puberty and a high schooler that 'knows everything' and we as parents 'know nothing'.  😉😉

We've all been through it with our own parents, but we don't realize the entire spectrum until we have our own kids and go through it all ourselves.

Once grown (not that 18 is grown and they'll always be our babies!), they, like we did, make decisions for their lives.  The thing is, we're now on the outside looking in and we know that some of the decisions they make aren't always the best and can sometimes be dangerous.  But because they're 'adults', there's nothing we can necessarily do to help them, depending on the situation....especially when it comes to our kids being married and when they have marital issues.

I'm a Libra and have always considered myself the peacemaker and fixer of things.  I just want people to be happy, safe and secure in their lives.  I'm working on realizing that I can't always make peace or fix certain things and frankly, that sucks.  I hate seeing my babies in pain, regardless of age.  But I also know we're subject to the consequences of our actions and that's how we learn in this life.  Without those consequences, we continue to do the same thing over and over expecting a different result, which is the definition of insanity.  

As a parent, it's difficult to remove myself from situations, to take my hands off and to keep my mouth shut.  I've gotten myself into my own trouble from not remaining silent.  And those were MY consequences.

I've just always been in the mindset that I would take on someone else's pain because I KNOW how much I can take, but I don't know how much THEY can take.  The reality of this is that everyone needs to individually deal with their own messes and I need to just take care of my own.  When I take on the messes of others (my kids), unknowingly I continue to build up anger and resentment on the back burner until one day, something as simple as dropping a pen on the floor can throw me into a tizzy.  It wasn't the pen, it was everything else that built up to that point that I 'thought' I could handle.  In essence, it's the 'straw that broke the camel's back'.  The camel (me) can only carry just so much before something's gotta give.

Why am I rambling on?  Because I want to tell you to be a sounding board for your kids/family, but be careful of what you say in return and careful that you don't try to carry the weight of their issues.  You have enough of your own life to handle.  But being a caring, concerned parent/friend is totally justified.  Be a listening ear, a hand to hold and/or a shoulder to cry on.  Most people DON'T want you to FIX their problems, they just need to vent to someone to lighten their load.  

No one ever said being a parent would be easy.  I can attest to good days as well as struggle bus days, but it's what we call life and we just need to get through it one day at a time and remember our limits, realizing we can't fix everyone or everything.

I pray this blog finds you happy, safe and full of peace.  Life is to short without these.

Catch you on the flipside!