How Do You Handle Confusion & Anxiety ..............

Hi Everyone!

Can you believe we're soon to be done with February 2017???

That's NOT what I'm confused about.  LOL  😂😂😂

The type of confusion I'm referring to is being confused about how to feel about certain things in life that other people do.

I used to think things were cut and dried.  You either agreed or disagreed with a situation.  I find that's not always the case.  I know it probably sounds strange or you may think it's a weird revelation for me to have out of the blue.  You may be saying........"I already KNEW THAT!".   I guess it's not that I maybe didn't already know, but it was never anything that I really thought about much in depth.

I learned some news over the weekend that I'm still not 100% sure how I feel.  I was asked if I were mad about what happened by the person who delivered the news to me.  I wasn't mad, but I wasn't happy either.  I was confused and a bit anxious.  It brought back memories of an unhappy time in my life.  I had to stop myself and rationalize what was ACTUALLY happening. 

A few years ago my therapist gave me a great tool to deal with those anxious feelings:

A - B - C - D's

A: define the "activating" anxiety-producing event.
B: describe your "belief" about it.
C: describe what you believe to be the "consequence" of it.
D: "dispute" it.

Example:

A: Activating Event:  You receive news that reminds you of a bad time in your life

B:  Belief :  'Oh no!  It's happening ALL OVER AGAIN!'

C: Consequence: (What you believe will be the consequences) 'Everything is going to fall apart and I'll be embarrassed and ashamed.'

D:  Dispute it:  'This is NOT the same situation.  It's not even with the same person.  As a result, it's not the same traumatic situation as was before. 

I had a time when I was shopping, went to pay for my groceries and my debit card was declined.  I was IMMEDIATELY transported (in my mind) back to a time when I would have been verbally abused severely about such an incident.  I had to work the steps to get through the anxiety and help myself understand that this time was different.  I would no longer get the tongue lashing I would have previously gotten.  It was a situation where the bank had a limit of how much could be spent in one day on the debit card for my protection in the event I would lose it or it would be stolen.  It wasn't anything I had done, but nonetheless set off my anxiety to an awful level as though I HAD done something wrong.  After years of being told so many things were my fault when they weren't, became ingrained in my brain. Using those steps makes a world of difference for me and I thought I would share them with you because anxiety feels terrible!

It's so important to take a step back and assess what is TRULY happening when you get the anxious feelings inside.  When you can do that, and go through the steps above, you'll be able to rationalize the situation. 

I sure hope this helps someone today.  If it does, please pass on the ABCD's I've shared above to help someone else.

I pray that you're healthy, that you're happy, that you're safe, and most importantly, I pray that you have P-E-A-C-E in your life!

Until we meet again my friends, have a super week!

BoxyCharm ~ February 2017......................

Happy Friday All!  Woot Woot!

We've made it through another glorious week while living the dream. 😎

Today I wanted to show you what arrived in my mailbox yesterday...........................

As you can see by the title it's my #FebruaryBoxyCharm Box !  

Of all the subscription boxes I've tried, this one is my #AbsoluteFavorite one by far!  They always have great products in them and I've not yet felt slighted in the least!

When I added up the retail for all the items I received, it totals to over $160!!  Not bad for a $19.66 box!  

I received :

 3 Brushes from Sedona Lace 

 2 Eye shadows from Makeup Geek

 1 Small Z-Palette

 1 Lipstick from Japonesque in a beautiful deep wine color

 1 Dr. Brandt Tube of Microdermabrasion Age Defying Exfoliator along with a code for 25% off of my next purchase

If you've never heard of BoxyCharm or been hesitant to give it a try, I encourage you to give it a try.  

Here's my referral link :


https://boxycharm.com/refer/Penny-JTQGOXKM

I am not sponsored in any way by BoxyCharm.  I just really enjoy this subscription and think you will too!  The only thing I will get if you use my referral code are points for products.  If you sign up, you'll be able to do the same thing!  So why not?!?!

I pray that you're healthy, that you're happy, that you're safe, and most importantly, I pray that you have P-E-A-C-E in your life!

Until next time friends!

Have a great weekend!

 




















 

Lies & Other Intolerable Things......................

Happy Thursday Everybody!!  It's another day in paradise! LOL 😂

I hope you're all having an amazing day!! 

I just wanted to talk about intolerable things in relationships, in particular, love relationships.

Most people have quirks in their relationships that can bug them, but when we love each other, they're usually small things that we can tolerate.  When they go outside of that zone, it's another story.

One thing that I find intolerable is having the one you love lie about being sick to get out of work, especially when they ask YOU to call in sick for them.  That's just not cool.  That used to happen to me A LOT!

Something else I find intolerable is feeling as though you're the only one keeping the relationship going.  You do all the talking, messaging, traveling, spending, etc...  

Any relationship should not be 50/50, but 100/100 and communication is key.   Both parties have to equally communicate.  When that doesn't happen, suspicion arises and both people begin to question in their minds;  Are they cheating?  Are they lying?  Are they sneaking around?  Maybe they're not into me anymore? 

See where this is going?  It can be the end of a great relationship which could have been avoided had the two just opened up and been honest with each other.

Why is it so hard to open up?  I believe it's because we fear what the answer will be.  We fear that it will be what we didn't want to hear, that it's the end of the relationship and we have to, once again, START OVER. 💔

As one who has gone through divorce and been down the online path, starting over to find love is a daunting task, especially in today's society of trying to find love online.    There are a LOT of creeps out there. 👾   👽   👻    👹     

PLEASE BE CAREFUL! 💜

My best bit of advice is to first learn to love yourself and learn to be ok by yourself.  Also, dig deep within yourself and figure out what you ARE and ARE NOT willing to put up with in a relationship.   Once you've accomplished this, you can move forward in looking for love.  Just don't depend on someone else to make you happy.  If you do, you'll never find true happiness.

Don't move in together right away.  That can be a true recipe for disaster.  There are times when it can work, but .....................

Please just love yourself enough not to put up with someone lying to you just stay in a relationship. What kind of relationship is it if you can't trust the other person?

Ain't love grand??!!??

I pray that you're healthy, that you're happy, that you're safe and most importantly I pray that you have P-E-A-C-E in your life!

Until we meet again my friends, have an awesome week!