Anxiety..........

Hi Gang!

It's a beautiful cold day in Wisconsin.  The sun is trying to peek through the clouds and it's a balmy 31*!

I wanted to talk about something today that I don't often talk about.  It's my anxiety.  

I guess it's something I've dealt with my entire life, but didn't always have a name for it.  I've always had those heightened feelings at times, especially in crowds of people, but I guess I just thought I was weird or something LOL.

I mean, I've always known I was weird, but thought this was just extra weirdness. 😜

In all truth and honesty, it's no laughing matter.  

When I go into a larger group of people I feel so self-conscious.  I feel as though I'm being watched and judged because I'm not perfect and that gives me such anxiety that I feel the need to escape immediately and be alone where I'm not being judged, where no one can see me.  

While we shouldn't care about what other people think of us, I think most people DO care to a point.  Unfortunately for me, I seem to care a bit too much to the point of feeling the need to escape.  

I'm not sure what I think will happen; if I think that people will be mean to me or yell at me or laugh at me or all of the above.  

The feelings of anxiety turn into depression.  I get upset with myself for letting those feelings get to me.  Then my mind starts thinking about what other things I'm not good at or things I've done or things I've said and I begin to beat myself up internally, sometimes to the point of tears.  I judge myself very harshly instead of allowing someone else to do it to me first.  I beat someone else to the punch, so to speak.  

The negative self-talk can get to be overwhelming and spiral me deeper into anxiety and depression.  

While I do take a low dose of medication, it's not a magic pill.  I still have to do my part to help myself.  Part of helping myself is by getting busy doing things that need to be done.  It takes the focus off myself.  Also writing my blogs and occasionally filming a YouTube video helps as well.  I don't mind people watching a video because I'm filming it alone and I don't mind people reading my blogs because I write alone.  I'm weird, I know. LOL

Please know that if you have similar feelings that you're not alone.  There are many people who struggle with anxiety and depression.  My best suggestion is going to your doctor and seeking therapy.  They can help give you the tools you need to live a happy life.

I pray that you're healthy, happy , safe and I pray that you have P.E.A.C.E. in your life.

Until we meet again my friends, have an awesome week and I'll catch you on the flip side!

Love,