I hop on here when something happens that sparks my mind to share with others because I feel like maybe you've felt the same feelings I'm going through.
The headline speaks volumes into anyone's life, but especially in mine today. Some may understand and some may be wondering what in the world I mean.
In my life I have been notorious for making myself TOO available. What I mean by that is that for those in my life that I care deeply about, I've dropped things I'm doing or places I'm going, to make myself available, always running to/for them or being overly available when people need/want things.
Unfortunately, by making myself TOO available, I over-extend myself and I don't get the same response in return. As a result, I set myself up for a let down of hurt and heartache.
Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying you shouldn't do things for others. That's not the premise for this blog. It's simply to suggest you don't CONSTANTLY make yourself available. There is nothing wrong with saying "No" when asked to do something. That's been a tough concept for me to grasp. I've always felt that telling someone 'No' would hurt/devastate them and I hate hurting people. In my life, I'd rather say yes and hurt myself than for others to hurt. Slowly, I'm learning that sometimes saying 'No' is the only choice and can be more beneficial for my mental and physical health. The person receiving the 'No' doesn't have to like it or understand it. That's definitely a tough pill for me to swallow because of not wanting to hurt anyone. Though tough, I sometimes swallow that bitter pill and realize later it was the best medicine for me at the time.
There is a fine balance in all things in life and we all need HEALTHY boundaries. I'll do more of a blog on this at another time.
While I'm writing this for my blog, I'm preaching to myself here more than anything.
When I was married, I ran ALL the time. Whatever he wanted, I did it. Wherever he needed me to be, I was there. Unfortunately, I didn't get the same respect in return. I find that I'm falling into that same experience in a new relationship. I'm such a lover and a giver that part of my love language is just doing for people, giving to them and wanted to be with them all the time.
I guess I'm just too much! LOL I need to learn to pull back the reigns a bit. I have done that in some areas of my life. I've cut out a few extras that were causing me headache and heartache. That has definitely helped! When you're in a situation where you are being disrespected and looked down on, you need to re-evaluate why you're in that position. If nothing can be done to change it, then it may be time to remove it from your life; this can be a friendship, a job situation, an organization affiliation, or any other relationship you have.
Something else I need to work on is not taking things so personally. I'm notorious for that. Someone can say or do something that anyone else wouldn't pay attention to, but my mind goes in a million directions and I tend to overthink things. 👅
I don't think we always realize how much we're affected mentally and emotionally by situations in our lives. If you're anything like me, I take a lot of crap before I explode. Things keep getting pushed to the back burner, so to speak, until they've built up so much, one little, insignificant thing can cause a total meltdown. At first, you wonder where that came from, but when you take a step back and think about all the situations you've been encountering, but not dealing with, it starts to dawn on you where the flood is coming from.
When you are going through something, I encourage you to talk to someone. You can talk to a relative, a friend, significant other, or even me! Something else you can do, if you don't feel comfortable 'talking', would be to journal. I have found that if I can at least get my feelings down on paper, it's taken a load off my mind and I can breathe again. It's not until you start to talk to someone or journal, that you realize all that you've got pent up inside. It eats away at us and we don't even realize it.
Stress can do terrible things to a body, so PLEASE be sure to talk to someone or try journaling to work out what's bugging you. You'll be so glad you did!!
Much love!!
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