Happy Monday!
Today's thought path is 'Overthinking'......................
I think the title is pretty self-explanatory, but if not, it's about thinking too much about anything. This is something I've struggled with the majority of my life, but I'm trying to overcome it.
What do YOU overthink about? For me, it's usually relationships. It doesn't matter whether its a friendship, intimate relationship, someone in my family, etc.... when something happens I tend to over-analyze it. I think about the person's facial expressions, body language, words, texts, etc... and try to figure out the truth or deeper meaning behind what they've said/done.
I've always considered myself a fairly perceptive person. I take notice of when people are not acting themselves. While it makes me more attentive, at first it can make me feel anxiety wondering if I've had anything to do with them feeling bad. I'm overly sensitive about that. I care deeply about people and don't ever want to hurt them.
When I approach someone and ask what's wrong and ask if I've done something, the answer is usually a resounding 'No! Not at all!'. I have to admit it gives me a sense of relief as I don't like to cause anyone any pain. I'll usually ask because maybe they've seemed distant from me or something in their body language. Most of the time it's just them turning inward (kind of recluse) to quietly deal with whatever their circumstances are and it has absolutely nothing to do with me.
I'll go more into the whole 'body language' topic in another blog. For now, lets focus on 'Overthinking'.
In the scenario above, I'm overthinking about what I may have done to make the person angry or sad. I go back into my memories trying to remember previous conversations we'd had, what was said and how it was handled. Did I mis-speak? Was I too harsh? Was I not giving my full attention? Most of the time I don't recall anything, but let's face it. We don't always remember absolutely EVERYTHING we've said and done, especially if we're trying to multi-task.
I had a situation a few months ago where someone said I flipped them the bird. I was appalled as I didn't remember doing any such thing. I'm NOT perfect and I HAVE done that before in a joking situation. The person claiming I'd done this didn't take it that way. I spoke to the person's spouse who confirmed that I'd done it. I apologized repeatedly. There are deeper notes to this story, but for time and confidentiality, I won't go into it any further. Needless to say, I stepped down from the organization we were both a part of. I did a LOT of overthinking about that situation trying desperately to remember doing it, but still to this day I have no remembrance.
Have you ever received a text from someone and wondered what in the world they meant especially if you replied asking and received no response? Have you ever sent a text only to be left hanging waiting for a response wondering if what you said may have offended the person in some way because they hadn't responded back? What about seeing a couple of friends together doing something that you weren't invited to attend when you'd normally all do something together?
So many of these situations and more have happened to me. If I don't get my mind focused on other things, I'll sit and wonder what I've said or done to create these situations and stew about them. I'm trying to remember to live and let live and not over-think or over-analyze things.
Please remember friends that the mind is a VERY powerful tool. When we think negatively about things, it creates negative branches in the brain just as positive branches are created when we think positively. Truly, our health and lives depend on thinking positively!
https://www.amazon.com/Switched-Brain-Controlling-Thoughts-Emotions/dp/0983346283/ref=sr_1_5?ie=UTF8&qid=1497884079&sr=8-5&keywords=Dr.+Caroline+leaf
Dr. Caroline Leaf has some great information about how the brain works when we think both negatively and positively. I've included the link above at Amazon for you to check it out. You can also go to YouTube to see videos as well. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0k1EhN93gIU
While I know life can be overwhelming at times and when we're alone, we can tend to do a LOT of over-thinking, over rationalizing, etc... but try your best to move your focus to more positive things. Go for a walk, get into your Bible, go to the gym, read a book, watch tv, talk with a friend, whatever you need to do to stop that over-thinking, negative train of thought.
I hope you have a blessed week!
Love,
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