Christmas Has Come and Gone...........

Hi Gang!

I hope you all had an amazing Christmas 2017!

It's so hard to believe that Monday we'll enter into 2018.  

Today it's bitter cold here in Wisconsin.  We're at a balmy -16* with the wind chill.  We're under a wind chill advisory until noon tomorrow.  Oh the joys of living in Wisconsin! LOL

I was able to spend time with my kids and grandkids over the holidays which is always amazing.  No gifts can ever replace time with loved ones.  

If you can believe it, I've already seen pics of Valentine's Day candy in the stores before Christmas actually occurred.  While I understand that stores need to sell their products, they could at least wait until the current holiday has passed.

Now my next biggest decision is when to take down my Christmas Tree.  Considering the fact it's only been up a week and a half, I don't know. LOL I do enjoy the soft glow of the lights at night while I'm watching tv. Makes it feel a bit like a Norman Rockwell painting..........LOL

Of course, this is during the day, but hey, you get my meaning. LOL

I pray that you're healthy, happy, safe, and I pray that you have P.E.A.C.E. in your life.

Until we meet again my friends, have a great week and let me know what you plan to do to ring in the new year!  I plan on sleeping, just like I always do! LOL

Love,

Luke Bryan - Light It Up (Audio)

Feeling Alone In The Midst............... Unhealthy Thought Paths...........

Hi Gang!

We're on the final countdown to Christmas.  Are you ready?  I still have a couple things to buy, but for the most part I'm as ready as I'll ever be.  I'm just shocked at myself that I actually put up my tree! LOL

Have you ever been in the midst of a bunch of people yet felt so alone?  That happens to me more times than I care to admit to.  I struggle with feeling as though I fit in.  I've always felt that way.  I've never felt smart enough or that I 'looked' as though I fit into a particular situation or group.

I've always been the kind of person who never wants to bother anyone, who tries to handle their own issues on their own, feeling as though I'll get looked down on if I ask for help because I should be smart enough to fix things or to just not have gotten myself into certain situations in the first place.

Look, we ALL have issues.  We're ALL human beings just trying to survive in this world.  If it were someone else afraid to ask for help, I'd be the first one to tell them not to be afraid and that there's no shame in asking for help, but when it comes to myself, I have a different set of standards.  It's as if I feel as though I'm not worthy of help.  

Do you see what's happening here?  It's a mind thing. Daily we need to renew our minds.

Romans 12:2The Message (MSG)

Place Your Life Before God

12 1-2 So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.

Romans 12:2New International Version (NIV)

2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

When we get into these ruts of feeling lonely in a crowd or have feelings of unworthiness, we need to break those thought paths because they're just not healthy.  We need to turn our way of thinking around to a positive direction.

Proverbs 3:7-8New International Version (NIV)

                              

7 Do not be wise in your own eyes;

    fear the Lord and shun evil.

 

8 This will bring health to your body

    and nourishment to your bones.

Proverbs 17:22English Standard Version (ESV)

A joyful heart is good medicine,

    but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.

Acts 26:2King James Version (KJV)

2 I think myself happy

Something that's a wonderful help is writing in a journal.  To get your thoughts down on paper and out of your head can be a tremendous help!  Also, talking with friends, doing a project you've been putting off, going for a drive, etc.... can be great things to change your thought path.

Years ago when I was going through my divorce, my son and I would be driving along heading to go shopping and we'd be riding in silence or listening to the radio.  So many negative/anxiety filled thoughts would consume my mind and I would ask my son to talk to me about anything because my mind wasn't in a good place at the moment.  By him talking about school or friends or some joke he'd seen on Facebook or Vine (when it was still a thing LOL), would divert my mind and get me into a much better place.

Sometimes just being with someone isn't enough, sometimes you need to talk.  You don't need to always talk about those negative thoughts.  The more we dwell on them the deeper we can plunge ourselves into a place of chaos and anxiety.  Once you've shared what you're going through, talk on other things.  Get your mind on positive things.

I pray that you're healthy, happy, safe and I pray that you have P.E.A.C.E. in your life!

Until we meet again my friends, get out there and finish up your Christmas shopping! LOL

Love,

DON'T Settle.........................and RANT..............

Hi Gang!

How many of you are happy for Friday?  I know I am.

I'm coming here with sheer irritation this morning for reasons I can't fully disclose.  But what I DO want to share is the fact that no one should ever SETTLE for someone, to be mistreated in any way and put up with it for the sake of being in a relationship with them.  

Proverbs 17:1 (NKJV)

Better is a dry morsel with quietness,

Than a house full of feasting[a] with strife.

In my own life I've put up with so much.  Being talked down to, being overlooked, watching as the guy looks at/ogles over other women, being ignored, expected to work like a man doing heavy manual labor, being called derogatory names, and the list goes on and on.......  All the while I was giving my total devotion, love, buying things, going above and beyond expectation only to get ignored/mistreated.  

I SETTLED all for the sake of having someone in my life as a significant other.  Shake my head....

I'm telling you right now that if you're in a relationship with someone who doesn't treat you right, who doesn't adore you and love you completely just as you are (personality, looks, weight, etc...) or who ignores you or doesn't respond to phone calls or texts from you, you need to step back and take a long hard look at what type of relationship you're actually in.  At that point, you can pretty much figure it's just one sided. 

Real love doesn't work that way.

(Preaching to myself here. LOL)

Some people just don't know what they want and have no business being in any type of relationship.  When they do, it pulls the other person away from a potential someone who will actually treat them with the love and respect they deserve.

As you can see, I'm feeling pretty 'passionate' about this thought path today! 

While I'm on my ranting soap box, what is up with all the double standards so many men have?  They can have a pot belly and/or a bald head, but the women they pursue are expected to look like a Barbie doll, perfect figure, blonde, etc.....  SERIOUSLY?????  Have ya looked in the mirror lately?  I've watched a multitude of music videos and those are the same way.........the singer can be scraggly looking or have a pot belly or half their teeth missing, but the girls are always the image of perfection.

What ever happened to getting to know someone?  

When I was in high school, I was always looked down upon because I was overweight.  The guys always made fun of me and many of the girls talked down to me with condescension.  For all of them, in their eyes, my weight determined who I was, what type of a person I was.  In their eyes my weight defined me as stupid, worthless, ugly, etc...  Because they didn't have weight issue, it made them superior in their own eyes.  I have noticed over the years that many of those same ones that made fun of me ended up marrying someone who wasn't 'perfect', who carried extra weight.  I found it quite ironic.

I'm just ready for 2018 to start fresh and wash away 2017 of all it's craziness.  I'm ready to start truly figuring out my likes and dislikes, what I'm willing to put up with and what I'm definitely NOT willing to put up with.  I'm also praying for the discernment in all things and the strength to not just 'go with the flow' of whatever comes across my path, and also the ability to see my truth worth.  

I am NOT what I weigh.  I am kind, loving, generous, a good listener, a good hugger, devoted, caring, etc... I'm not perfect by any means, but I am a good person.  I just need to keep reminding myself of that.

I pray that you're healthy, happy, safe and I pray that you have P.E.A.C.E. in your life.

Until we meet again my friends, have a fabulous weekend and always remind yourself how special you are and that you're loved!

Love,

Colt Ford - Reload (feat. Taylor Ray Holbrook) [Official Video]

Anxiety..........

Hi Gang!

It's a beautiful cold day in Wisconsin.  The sun is trying to peek through the clouds and it's a balmy 31*!

I wanted to talk about something today that I don't often talk about.  It's my anxiety.  

I guess it's something I've dealt with my entire life, but didn't always have a name for it.  I've always had those heightened feelings at times, especially in crowds of people, but I guess I just thought I was weird or something LOL.

I mean, I've always known I was weird, but thought this was just extra weirdness. 😜

In all truth and honesty, it's no laughing matter.  

When I go into a larger group of people I feel so self-conscious.  I feel as though I'm being watched and judged because I'm not perfect and that gives me such anxiety that I feel the need to escape immediately and be alone where I'm not being judged, where no one can see me.  

While we shouldn't care about what other people think of us, I think most people DO care to a point.  Unfortunately for me, I seem to care a bit too much to the point of feeling the need to escape.  

I'm not sure what I think will happen; if I think that people will be mean to me or yell at me or laugh at me or all of the above.  

The feelings of anxiety turn into depression.  I get upset with myself for letting those feelings get to me.  Then my mind starts thinking about what other things I'm not good at or things I've done or things I've said and I begin to beat myself up internally, sometimes to the point of tears.  I judge myself very harshly instead of allowing someone else to do it to me first.  I beat someone else to the punch, so to speak.  

The negative self-talk can get to be overwhelming and spiral me deeper into anxiety and depression.  

While I do take a low dose of medication, it's not a magic pill.  I still have to do my part to help myself.  Part of helping myself is by getting busy doing things that need to be done.  It takes the focus off myself.  Also writing my blogs and occasionally filming a YouTube video helps as well.  I don't mind people watching a video because I'm filming it alone and I don't mind people reading my blogs because I write alone.  I'm weird, I know. LOL

Please know that if you have similar feelings that you're not alone.  There are many people who struggle with anxiety and depression.  My best suggestion is going to your doctor and seeking therapy.  They can help give you the tools you need to live a happy life.

I pray that you're healthy, happy , safe and I pray that you have P.E.A.C.E. in your life.

Until we meet again my friends, have an awesome week and I'll catch you on the flip side!

Love,

What's Meant To Be Will Be........................

Happy Tuesday Gang!

Today's thought path is something that I've often thought about, but I sometimes still try to force things......If something is meant to be it will happen.  If it's not, no matter how hard you push/force, it's not going to happen.  

So many times in life we like to be on our own time table.  We want things when we want them and how we want them.  We sometimes get into a mindset that regardless of the circumstances, we still want whatever it is.... a job, a house, a love interest, etc...  

Because we get so consumed with our desire of wanting something or someone so desperately, we can easily overlook red flags that appear all over the place.  But because we're so driven and self focused, we neglect to see those flags. 

The flags you're overlooking could potentially save your life or save you a lot of money or save you a lot of heartache.  

Key parts are:

 slowing down, 

taking a step back 

and taking a deep breath.  

Most importantly, pray and ask God what He'd have you do.  So many times we run in front of Him because we're so excited about the circumstances.  We can't wait and because we're running so hard at what we 'think' we want or 'think' we need to have, we neglect to see the potholes in the road (red flags) and can fall into those holes.  

If it's a part of God's plan He'll make a way where there seems to be no way.  If it's not a part of His plan, He'll block you from it or it from you.  He's trying to protect you from things you can't clearly see.  It's in those moments that you have to just look up and thank Him.  

I've always told my children to listen to God and take heed to what He says.  We may not always like it at the time or understand the meaning behind it, but we must follow His direction.  If He wants to reveal the reasoning behind it at a later time, He will.  If not, we just need to continue to trust Him.

You get angry when He puts you behind that slow vehicle on the highway not knowing He's protecting you from an accident.   

You oversleep not knowing He's protecting you from getting on that plane that was about to crash.  

I'll give you a personal example:

There was a young man that showed up at our church many years ago.  One of the church women was helping him out, but was trying to find one of the men of the church to mentor him.  She had spoken to my then-husband and myself about taking in the young man.  Before the end of the church service that morning I had red lights and flags going off in my mind and hearing 'NO! NO! NO!'.  I went to my then-husband and told him I had no idea why, but God told me that we couldn't take this young man in.  I asked him to please just trust in what God had told me.  Thankfully he did and we never took the young man home with us even though we didn't know why.

Three months later I was informed that the young man was wanted in 2 other states for prior child molestation charges.  My children were very young at the time.  Because I took heed to the red flags that God sent in my spirit, He later revealed why He sent those flags and as a result my children were saved from harm.

Some people may think I'm crazy when I tell them when something like that falls into my spirit.  They can think whatever they want.  I'm going to continue to take heed.  God has never given me false information before and He's not about to.

Remember when we were kids and were told to 'Stop. Look. and Listen'?  Those things still hold true, not only at a cross walk, but in all areas of life.

I pray that you're healthy, happy, safe and I pray that you have P.E.A.C.E. in your life.

Until we meet again my friends, have a fantastic week!

Love,

Fighting Depression........................

Hi Gang!

Believe it or not, Christmas is less than a month away.....

I'm struggling to get into the Christmas spirit.  I haven't put up my tree or any decorations.  The stores bombard you with decor in June or July, so by the time it actually gets here, I'm spent.  

How are all of you feeling this holiday season?  

My thought path today is about fighting depression.  For any of you that have experienced it, you will be able to relate.  For those who haven't, consider it a blessing and be so thankful!

For me, part of my depression is chemical and part is from loneliness.  Don't get me wrong.  I'm so thankful and blessed for all that I have in my life.  I guess I get partially depressed because I don't have a significant other to share it with.  

While I try not to think in the realm of needing someone else to make me happy, it's becoming more evident to me that whether you realize it or not, having a significant other in your life can bring you happiness and peace.  It's something that many take for granted.  Actually, that could be a false statement to a point.  You can't take for granted what you don't even realize.

What do I mean?  

Have you ever really stopped to think about how enriched your life is because of your significant other?  Probably not.  It's just something we don't take time to think about.  When you have someone to come home to at night, you know you have someone to share your day with, someone to snuggle with and go to sleep with.  It 'completes' you without you even really thinking about it.  

When you have no one to come home to or share your day with, you have a lot of time on your hands to think and that's not always a good thing.  It gives us time to over-think and that can result in depression because of thinking about what we don't have in our lives.

Depression can be extremely debilitating.  You may not want to get out of bed.  You may not want to shower or get dressed.  Some stay in bed with the blinds closed not wanting any sunlight to come in and don't want anyone looking in nor do they want to look outside.  Sometimes seeing other people happy can be depressing as well.  It's not that you're mad about others' happiness, its the fact that you don't share that same type of happiness.  Depression can lead a person on a downward spiral...........

How do YOU combat depression?

I like to watch comedies on tv, watch YouTube videos or play internet games to occupy my mind.  I also like to spend time with my kids and my granddaughter.  

When you spend time with others, you're not focused on yourself.  

This holiday season, please spend time with the people you love and never forget how special you are!  There is someone out there for everyone.  We just need to have patience while we wait for the right one. 

I pray that you're healthy, happy, safe and I pray that you have P.E.A.C.E. in your life!

Until we meet again my friends, have a fantastic week as we welcome December this Friday!

Love,

Happy Thanksgiving Eve!..........................

Hi Gang!

Happy Thanksgiving Eve!!!

I was a busy girl last night making a 'non-traditional' Thanksgiving meal of lasagna.

Although I enjoy a huge turkey and the fixins', my kids have many things going on for the holiday so we're improvising.  The most important thing is just getting together and spending time with each other, regardless of what the food is.

The kids are bringing the bread, salad and dessert.  Everyone is doing their part and a great time will be had by all!

Have you ever made a non-traditional Thanksgiving meal?  What did you make?

I just wanted to wish you all a very

I pray that you're healthy, happy, safe and I pray that you have P.E.A.C.E. in your life!

Until we meet again my friends, enjoy time with your loved ones.  Hug them and tell them how much they mean to you because time is fleeting.  I'll catch you on the flip side!

Love,

Rejection and Acceptance........... What I Wish I Could Have Told My Younger Self................

Hi Gang!

I had a bit of an  epiphany last night.......

When I was growing up, I was always under the impression that if someone didn't like me, if they rejected me, it was a reflection on me as a person........that I wasn't good enough, pretty enough, smart enough, thin enough, etc.....  I thought that I must be a horrible person if I wasn't accepted.

What I have finally realized after 49 years on this planet is that when I was rejected, it was based on one person's feelings/attractions, but not a reflection of who I am as a person.  

Not everyone is attracted to each other and that's perfectly fine.  Just because there's no attraction, it doesn't mean you're unattractive,  you're just not to that particular person.  It's one individual's opinion, but it's not a the definition of who you are.

Many of you may be saying the typical 'DUH'!  

But for me, I never had this revelation before.  It wasn't until I wasn't attracted to someone who was attracted to me that the epiphany hit me.  Just because I wasn't attracted to him didn't mean the guy was bad or unattractive to other women.  I simply just wasn't attracted to him.  Period.

Had someone told my younger self this information it would have saved my heart and mind a lot of unnecessary stress and hurt.  When I was rejected I felt like the whole world was crumbling around me, that because that one person didn't accept me I was horrible and NO ONE would accept me.  I would let one person's opinion define who I was.  It would just be so overwhelming and daunting in my mind.  

There are those that can let someone's negative opinion roll off their back like water off a duck's back.  I've never been one of those people.  Unfortunately I've always been a people pleaser.  If people didn't like me or accept me, it would make me feel horrible and made me want to hide and not be around anyone because I must be worthless to all people.  

If you have children of your own or children in your family, please be sure to share with them that not everyone likes each other and that's OK.  Help them to understand that it doesn't define who they are as a person.  This goes for both friendships and love interests.  Help give them the tools they need to cope in this crazy world.  

The best advice I can give is to keep an open door policy with your kids or any kids in your family.  Let them know, that no matter what, you're there for them.  I've always told my kids that I will always have an open door policy.  I may not like what they have to say, initially, but that I'll always love them and that we'll get through ANYTHING together.  Kids need to know that they have someone they can depend on, lean on, vent to and cry to when needed.  

While I wish someone would have explained this epiphany to me years ago, people can't teach what they don't know.  If you've had experiences in life, share them with your kids.  They need to know they're not alone.  Use your own personal experiences in life to show your kids how to or how not to handle certain situations.  It helps make things more relate-able/understandable.

I pray that you're healthy, happy, safe and I pray that you have P.E.A.C.E. in your life. 

Until we meet again my friends, have a TOADALLY TERRIFIC TUESDAY!  Catch you on the flip side!

Love,

Trying To Heal Brokenness..........................

Happy Monday Gang!

That's actually how I felt when it was time to get out of bed this morning! LOL  The weekends just seem to go WAY TOO FAST!

Psalm 34:18 

The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, And saves such as have a contrite spirit.

I'm so thankful to have the Lord in my life.  Without Him, life would be terribly difficult.  My only wish is that He would be here in the flesh at times when I need someone to just sit down and talk to or when I need someone to just wrap their arms around me, because He would fully understand.

Brokenness comes in a multitude of forms, but a broken heart, to me, is one of the most difficult to mend.

I've met many, many people who have been unhappy in their marriages.  There hasn't been any type of abuse, but just that the 'spark' seems to have burned out.  I try to encourage those people to really work hard on their marriage because being single in your 40's isn't all it's cracked up to be.  

For me personally, my divorce was needed and I don't regret it at all.  But for those who have just become 'disconnected', I pray that they fight like hell to keep their marriage alive.  Remember that it takes BOTH parties to fight for it.  It can't just be one sided.  It takes compromise, humility, compassion and passion.  It takes each one to make a self assessment of themselves and to be willing to make difficult changes.  Marriage isn't easy, but a good marriage is definitely worth it.  

For those who are single and looking for love, please don't give up.  While I know it's not easy, true love is waiting out there.  Patience is key.  I know because I lack patience most of the time! LOL

In my brokenness, I waited 4 1/2 years after my divorce before even going on a date.  I just couldn't bring myself to do it.  I just wasn't ready or prepared.  My kids kept threatening me that they were going to enter my info on 'FarmersOnly.com". LOL  

I finally made the decision to hop onto a dating website (not the one the kids threatened me with...LOL).  I don't like meeting guys in bars.  It's just not my thing.  I met one guy on the site.  Talked to him for 5 1/2 months and only saw him in person twice.............. yes, frustration...........

I met another guy that I dated for a year.  It ended up that he was more into cars than me.  We left things as friends, but I'm struggling with even talking to him because I don't want to fall back into the same situation.  The hardest part is also missing his family. :(

I went back out on a different dating site, met a guy, and he was WAY TOO PUSHY.  I'll leave it at that.

I've had many messages from many men on the site, but I'm just not attracted to them for one reason or another.  Some have just recently separated, some are atheist, some are older than I prefer, etc.....

I've been talking to someone new for about a month via texting and phone calls.  We're going to meet in person pretty soon.  Not sure how that will go.  I'm hoping it will be nice, but to be honest, I'm getting burned out and kind of preparing myself for the worst.  I know that sounds terrible, but I just don't want to set myself up for a let down......more brokenness.  

If it doesn't go well I'm definitely taking a LONG BREAK.  While I know I'm just not meant to be alone for the rest of my life, I'll just have to exercise patience.  Good luck to me on that! LOL

I believe that healing brokenness takes time.  Getting out and being with friends and family definitely helps take the mind off of the hurting heart.  But sometimes, I'd just rather sit at home alone and muddle in my own muck.  Sometimes we need that quiet time to process how we're feeling.  It doesn't mean we're strange, it's just a necessary part of the healing process.  Snuggling under the blanket with the dogs helps.  Why?  Because they love me unconditionally, they don't have any 'words of wisdom' to share, and they just want to be close to me.  Plus they're great listeners!  

They're TRULY HAPPY to see me when I come home.  They don't yell at me or make me feel bad about myself.  Who wouldn't love that?

Please remember that you're special whether you have a significant other in your life or not.  Don't give up on love.  Your soulmate is out there.  They just haven't found you yet.

I pray that you're healthy, happy, safe and I pray that you have P.E.A.C.E. in your life!

Until we meet again my friends, have a great week and I'll catch you on the flip side.

Love,