Hi Gang!
I had a bit of an epiphany last night.......
When I was growing up, I was always under the impression that if someone didn't like me, if they rejected me, it was a reflection on me as a person........that I wasn't good enough, pretty enough, smart enough, thin enough, etc..... I thought that I must be a horrible person if I wasn't accepted.
What I have finally realized after 49 years on this planet is that when I was rejected, it was based on one person's feelings/attractions, but not a reflection of who I am as a person.
Not everyone is attracted to each other and that's perfectly fine. Just because there's no attraction, it doesn't mean you're unattractive, you're just not to that particular person. It's one individual's opinion, but it's not a the definition of who you are.
Many of you may be saying the typical 'DUH'!
But for me, I never had this revelation before. It wasn't until I wasn't attracted to someone who was attracted to me that the epiphany hit me. Just because I wasn't attracted to him didn't mean the guy was bad or unattractive to other women. I simply just wasn't attracted to him. Period.
Had someone told my younger self this information it would have saved my heart and mind a lot of unnecessary stress and hurt. When I was rejected I felt like the whole world was crumbling around me, that because that one person didn't accept me I was horrible and NO ONE would accept me. I would let one person's opinion define who I was. It would just be so overwhelming and daunting in my mind.
There are those that can let someone's negative opinion roll off their back like water off a duck's back. I've never been one of those people. Unfortunately I've always been a people pleaser. If people didn't like me or accept me, it would make me feel horrible and made me want to hide and not be around anyone because I must be worthless to all people.
If you have children of your own or children in your family, please be sure to share with them that not everyone likes each other and that's OK. Help them to understand that it doesn't define who they are as a person. This goes for both friendships and love interests. Help give them the tools they need to cope in this crazy world.
The best advice I can give is to keep an open door policy with your kids or any kids in your family. Let them know, that no matter what, you're there for them. I've always told my kids that I will always have an open door policy. I may not like what they have to say, initially, but that I'll always love them and that we'll get through ANYTHING together. Kids need to know that they have someone they can depend on, lean on, vent to and cry to when needed.
While I wish someone would have explained this epiphany to me years ago, people can't teach what they don't know. If you've had experiences in life, share them with your kids. They need to know they're not alone. Use your own personal experiences in life to show your kids how to or how not to handle certain situations. It helps make things more relate-able/understandable.
I pray that you're healthy, happy, safe and I pray that you have P.E.A.C.E. in your life.
Until we meet again my friends, have a TOADALLY TERRIFIC TUESDAY! Catch you on the flip side!
Love,
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