How is your day going? Mine is better than my weekend. While my weekend wasn't horrible, it was a true test of my patience and understanding. It was also a chance for me to realize I was more focused on myself than on my love.
We were invited to a late Christmas party and I really wanted him to go with me. We've only been together since August and he'd mentioned one other time that large crowds make him a bit uncomfortable. I told him there would be a free meal, games and prizes, (blackmail? Possibly....) but it just wasn't enough to sway him to go.
I'm not going to lie.............I was TERRIBLY HURT. I cried, threw my own pity party and fell asleep. Upon waking the next morning, it occurred to me how terribly SELFISH I'd been, not taking his feelings into consideration, only my own. I was TERRIBLY SELF-CENTERED and to him I apologize.
Many people have different insecurities, be it in large groups of people or small, tight spaces, or even just going outside, just to name a few.
I had to stop and put myself in his position. If the tables were turned and I was invited to go with him to a party of his peers, would I go to support him? Yes. Does that make me a better person? ABSOLUTELY NOT! It just means that my personality can adjust to my surroundings. Had he known more people at the party than just myself, it would have possibly been different and then again, maybe not.
I know he felt terrible as he knew it was important to me. If it were me with those insecurities, I would have felt terrible as well and I wouldn't have gone either.
I've always considered myself a compassionate person; sometimes too compassionate to the point of it getting myself into a bad situation. This time, however, my compassion was very LACKING. :(
In this life we must pick and choose our battles carefully. Life is so short. Ask yourself, will this matter tomorrow, a week from now, a year from now? If the answer is 'no', then don't get into an unnecessary battle. Chalk it up and move on. Patience is something I need to work on even harder.
How is YOUR patience / compassion level? Take some time out today and give it some thought.
Sayonara,
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