I hope this finds you all doing well! The past two days have been icy here and I am so looking forward to SPRING!!!
Has anyone ever told you the words I've titled today's blog? This has been a challenging thought for me to wrap my mind around.
I've always been a 'people pleaser'. I've always wanted to make others happy regardless of what they had done to me or what the consequences would do to me. I know how much I can handle (or at least I believe I do) and I have always chosen to take burdens on my own shoulders rather than put them onto someone else. I'd rather be hurt than for someone else to be hurt.
Some of you reading this are probably thinking I must be crazy for thinking like that. Others of you will be able to relate as you also walk a mile in those moccasins.
I'm a peacemaker and try to be a peacekeeper. I've mentioned this in previous blog posts. I've been lashed out at with so much anger and hostility in the people around me my entire life that my mantra now is P-E-A-C-E. Life is far too short not to live in peace.
In being this type of person, how everyone viewed me has always been HUGE in my life. What others have said to me has always been taken to heart and I've let it define me. When you're told repetitively the same thing, you begin to believe it. I've always been one to wear my heart on my sleeve.
My brother, who committed suicide almost 21 years ago, used to tell me I'd always be tied to my mamma's apron strings and wouldn't amount to anything and everything that came out of my mouth, he told me was stupid. (I do love and miss him greatly, please understand this, but these were things he did say to me when I was younger.) In retaliation, I told him something our father said about him and as a result he left home and took a trucking job on long hauls that would keep him away from home. I still feel terrible telling him what I did. It was VERY hurtful and to top it all off, I made him pay me for the information. (Please keep in mind that I was probably only 11 or 12 at the time. Kids can be cruel, myself included.)
I can remember starting a new job years later and asking the girl who was training me if what I said sounded stupid to her. She looked at me like I was on dope. Again, after you're told something over and over, you truly begin to believe it. It's something I still struggle with from time to time.
One cold winter day while my parents and I were out milking cows, I mentioned being cold. My dad said "I didn't think elephants got cold?". It still jabs at my heart still to this day and that was said over 30 years ago.
I was told that I was nothing and would never be anything by my former spouse among a host of other vulgar names spewed at me.
Hurting people hurt people.
The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.
Psalm 64:3
They sharpen their tongues like swords and aim cruel words like deadly arrows.
Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark.
We can cause hurt and misery by saying certain things to others. Be sure to stop before speaking and ask yourself if you'd appreciate those same words to be spoken to you.
Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. (And speak those things! My addition to this passage.)
When someone does say something sharp to you, do your best to turn the other cheek and be sure to pray for them. Again, hurting people hurt people. Whatever they're going through in their personal lives is manifesting in the lashing out on others with negativity.
There have been MANY times in my life that I've been lashed out at. Did I always hold my tongue? I will be honest and tell you I have not. Our first knee jerk reaction is for our own flesh to retaliate back when someone hurts us. I am far from perfect and I've retaliated myself. Was it right? No. But I'm trying each day to do better.
*** NOTE *** I also want to say that if you're currently in an abusive situation, please seek help to get out. There is a difference between an occasional argument and abuse. No one should be subjected to abuse.
Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline
Support, resources and advice for your safety
1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
While your opinion of me is none of my business, I pray that I can make a positive impact on your life and that you would someday pay it forward with a positive impact on someone else's life that you'll touch.
The only opinion of me that matters is that of God's.
I pray that you're healthy, that you're happy, that you're safe, and most importantly I pray that you have P-E-A-C-E in your life!
Until we meet again my friends!
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