Fighting Depression........................

Hi Gang!

Believe it or not, Christmas is less than a month away.....

I'm struggling to get into the Christmas spirit.  I haven't put up my tree or any decorations.  The stores bombard you with decor in June or July, so by the time it actually gets here, I'm spent.  

How are all of you feeling this holiday season?  

My thought path today is about fighting depression.  For any of you that have experienced it, you will be able to relate.  For those who haven't, consider it a blessing and be so thankful!

For me, part of my depression is chemical and part is from loneliness.  Don't get me wrong.  I'm so thankful and blessed for all that I have in my life.  I guess I get partially depressed because I don't have a significant other to share it with.  

While I try not to think in the realm of needing someone else to make me happy, it's becoming more evident to me that whether you realize it or not, having a significant other in your life can bring you happiness and peace.  It's something that many take for granted.  Actually, that could be a false statement to a point.  You can't take for granted what you don't even realize.

What do I mean?  

Have you ever really stopped to think about how enriched your life is because of your significant other?  Probably not.  It's just something we don't take time to think about.  When you have someone to come home to at night, you know you have someone to share your day with, someone to snuggle with and go to sleep with.  It 'completes' you without you even really thinking about it.  

When you have no one to come home to or share your day with, you have a lot of time on your hands to think and that's not always a good thing.  It gives us time to over-think and that can result in depression because of thinking about what we don't have in our lives.

Depression can be extremely debilitating.  You may not want to get out of bed.  You may not want to shower or get dressed.  Some stay in bed with the blinds closed not wanting any sunlight to come in and don't want anyone looking in nor do they want to look outside.  Sometimes seeing other people happy can be depressing as well.  It's not that you're mad about others' happiness, its the fact that you don't share that same type of happiness.  Depression can lead a person on a downward spiral...........

How do YOU combat depression?

I like to watch comedies on tv, watch YouTube videos or play internet games to occupy my mind.  I also like to spend time with my kids and my granddaughter.  

When you spend time with others, you're not focused on yourself.  

This holiday season, please spend time with the people you love and never forget how special you are!  There is someone out there for everyone.  We just need to have patience while we wait for the right one. 

I pray that you're healthy, happy, safe and I pray that you have P.E.A.C.E. in your life!

Until we meet again my friends, have a fantastic week as we welcome December this Friday!

Love,

Happy Thanksgiving Eve!..........................

Hi Gang!

Happy Thanksgiving Eve!!!

I was a busy girl last night making a 'non-traditional' Thanksgiving meal of lasagna.

Although I enjoy a huge turkey and the fixins', my kids have many things going on for the holiday so we're improvising.  The most important thing is just getting together and spending time with each other, regardless of what the food is.

The kids are bringing the bread, salad and dessert.  Everyone is doing their part and a great time will be had by all!

Have you ever made a non-traditional Thanksgiving meal?  What did you make?

I just wanted to wish you all a very

I pray that you're healthy, happy, safe and I pray that you have P.E.A.C.E. in your life!

Until we meet again my friends, enjoy time with your loved ones.  Hug them and tell them how much they mean to you because time is fleeting.  I'll catch you on the flip side!

Love,

Rejection and Acceptance........... What I Wish I Could Have Told My Younger Self................

Hi Gang!

I had a bit of an  epiphany last night.......

When I was growing up, I was always under the impression that if someone didn't like me, if they rejected me, it was a reflection on me as a person........that I wasn't good enough, pretty enough, smart enough, thin enough, etc.....  I thought that I must be a horrible person if I wasn't accepted.

What I have finally realized after 49 years on this planet is that when I was rejected, it was based on one person's feelings/attractions, but not a reflection of who I am as a person.  

Not everyone is attracted to each other and that's perfectly fine.  Just because there's no attraction, it doesn't mean you're unattractive,  you're just not to that particular person.  It's one individual's opinion, but it's not a the definition of who you are.

Many of you may be saying the typical 'DUH'!  

But for me, I never had this revelation before.  It wasn't until I wasn't attracted to someone who was attracted to me that the epiphany hit me.  Just because I wasn't attracted to him didn't mean the guy was bad or unattractive to other women.  I simply just wasn't attracted to him.  Period.

Had someone told my younger self this information it would have saved my heart and mind a lot of unnecessary stress and hurt.  When I was rejected I felt like the whole world was crumbling around me, that because that one person didn't accept me I was horrible and NO ONE would accept me.  I would let one person's opinion define who I was.  It would just be so overwhelming and daunting in my mind.  

There are those that can let someone's negative opinion roll off their back like water off a duck's back.  I've never been one of those people.  Unfortunately I've always been a people pleaser.  If people didn't like me or accept me, it would make me feel horrible and made me want to hide and not be around anyone because I must be worthless to all people.  

If you have children of your own or children in your family, please be sure to share with them that not everyone likes each other and that's OK.  Help them to understand that it doesn't define who they are as a person.  This goes for both friendships and love interests.  Help give them the tools they need to cope in this crazy world.  

The best advice I can give is to keep an open door policy with your kids or any kids in your family.  Let them know, that no matter what, you're there for them.  I've always told my kids that I will always have an open door policy.  I may not like what they have to say, initially, but that I'll always love them and that we'll get through ANYTHING together.  Kids need to know that they have someone they can depend on, lean on, vent to and cry to when needed.  

While I wish someone would have explained this epiphany to me years ago, people can't teach what they don't know.  If you've had experiences in life, share them with your kids.  They need to know they're not alone.  Use your own personal experiences in life to show your kids how to or how not to handle certain situations.  It helps make things more relate-able/understandable.

I pray that you're healthy, happy, safe and I pray that you have P.E.A.C.E. in your life. 

Until we meet again my friends, have a TOADALLY TERRIFIC TUESDAY!  Catch you on the flip side!

Love,

Trying To Heal Brokenness..........................

Happy Monday Gang!

That's actually how I felt when it was time to get out of bed this morning! LOL  The weekends just seem to go WAY TOO FAST!

Psalm 34:18 

The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, And saves such as have a contrite spirit.

I'm so thankful to have the Lord in my life.  Without Him, life would be terribly difficult.  My only wish is that He would be here in the flesh at times when I need someone to just sit down and talk to or when I need someone to just wrap their arms around me, because He would fully understand.

Brokenness comes in a multitude of forms, but a broken heart, to me, is one of the most difficult to mend.

I've met many, many people who have been unhappy in their marriages.  There hasn't been any type of abuse, but just that the 'spark' seems to have burned out.  I try to encourage those people to really work hard on their marriage because being single in your 40's isn't all it's cracked up to be.  

For me personally, my divorce was needed and I don't regret it at all.  But for those who have just become 'disconnected', I pray that they fight like hell to keep their marriage alive.  Remember that it takes BOTH parties to fight for it.  It can't just be one sided.  It takes compromise, humility, compassion and passion.  It takes each one to make a self assessment of themselves and to be willing to make difficult changes.  Marriage isn't easy, but a good marriage is definitely worth it.  

For those who are single and looking for love, please don't give up.  While I know it's not easy, true love is waiting out there.  Patience is key.  I know because I lack patience most of the time! LOL

In my brokenness, I waited 4 1/2 years after my divorce before even going on a date.  I just couldn't bring myself to do it.  I just wasn't ready or prepared.  My kids kept threatening me that they were going to enter my info on 'FarmersOnly.com". LOL  

I finally made the decision to hop onto a dating website (not the one the kids threatened me with...LOL).  I don't like meeting guys in bars.  It's just not my thing.  I met one guy on the site.  Talked to him for 5 1/2 months and only saw him in person twice.............. yes, frustration...........

I met another guy that I dated for a year.  It ended up that he was more into cars than me.  We left things as friends, but I'm struggling with even talking to him because I don't want to fall back into the same situation.  The hardest part is also missing his family. :(

I went back out on a different dating site, met a guy, and he was WAY TOO PUSHY.  I'll leave it at that.

I've had many messages from many men on the site, but I'm just not attracted to them for one reason or another.  Some have just recently separated, some are atheist, some are older than I prefer, etc.....

I've been talking to someone new for about a month via texting and phone calls.  We're going to meet in person pretty soon.  Not sure how that will go.  I'm hoping it will be nice, but to be honest, I'm getting burned out and kind of preparing myself for the worst.  I know that sounds terrible, but I just don't want to set myself up for a let down......more brokenness.  

If it doesn't go well I'm definitely taking a LONG BREAK.  While I know I'm just not meant to be alone for the rest of my life, I'll just have to exercise patience.  Good luck to me on that! LOL

I believe that healing brokenness takes time.  Getting out and being with friends and family definitely helps take the mind off of the hurting heart.  But sometimes, I'd just rather sit at home alone and muddle in my own muck.  Sometimes we need that quiet time to process how we're feeling.  It doesn't mean we're strange, it's just a necessary part of the healing process.  Snuggling under the blanket with the dogs helps.  Why?  Because they love me unconditionally, they don't have any 'words of wisdom' to share, and they just want to be close to me.  Plus they're great listeners!  

They're TRULY HAPPY to see me when I come home.  They don't yell at me or make me feel bad about myself.  Who wouldn't love that?

Please remember that you're special whether you have a significant other in your life or not.  Don't give up on love.  Your soulmate is out there.  They just haven't found you yet.

I pray that you're healthy, happy, safe and I pray that you have P.E.A.C.E. in your life!

Until we meet again my friends, have a great week and I'll catch you on the flip side.

Love,

People Are Funny.............. Strange.....not Ha Ha.........

And It's FRIDAY.......... AGAIN!

Hi Gang!

I sit back and look at people in life.  

I find that now more than ever I just shake my head.  

I've always told my kids that common sense is a gift, not a given because not everyone has it.  I'm not saying that I'm perfect because I'm absolutely not.  What I'm referring to is people not using polite manners and not being honest and those that play mind games.

You may wonder what I mean about mind games.......... Well, it's when someone asks you a question in a sideways manner trying to 'feel you out' about something.  For example, "How do you feel about _______?"  They don't tell you THEIR feelings on the matter, but they want to see how you feel and base their answer off of your answer.  

Sometimes people do this to 'test' you.  If you don't give them the answer they want to hear, they're done with you.  All the while it leaves you with questions in your own mind if you're not aware of what just happened.  

If someone can't be straight forward with you and tell you how they truly feel without playing mind games then you certainly don't need that type of people in your life.  Those who TRULY care about you won't mess with your mind like that.  They'll be honest, upfront and open and you won't be left second guessing their intentions.  

People who say that they're your 'friend', but do this to you, aren't truly your friend.  Be mindful of who you hang around and how they treat you.  The same goes for you as well.  Live by the golden rule ... "Do unto others as you'd have done unto you".  

We all reap what we sow.  If we sow kindness, love and compassion, it will come back to us.  If we sow deceit, anger and betrayal, that will also come back to us.  

James 5:12

    

                        But above all, my brethren, do not                        swear, either by heaven or by earth or with                  any other oath. But let your“Yes” be “Yes,”               and your “No,” “No,” lest you fall into judgment.

Bottom line........PLEASE don't play mind games with people and don't allow others to play mind games with you.  You may not realize it initially, but if things don't seem right and you're questioning things in your mind about the relationship, take a step back and really think about what's going on.  If you're always questioning and feeling unsure, you may want to re-think the relationship.  You may even have to end it if it seems toxic.  It's about loving, respecting and caring about yourself. 💜

I pray that you're healthy, happy, safe and I pray that you have P.E.A.C.E. in your life.

Until we meet again my friends have a safe, loving and peaceful weekend.  Catch you on the flip side!

Love,

I Am Not The Judge............

Happy Friday Eve Gang!  

Today's Thought Path.......... Judgement...

In this life we're guaranteed to have issues.  

John 16:33 

These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.”

There's no two ways about it.  We not only encounter our own issues, but we also encounter issues of our friends and loved ones.  

So many times we're asked how we feel about someone else's situation........whether or not we agree with them or how we think others will view their situation.  

I've found that some people keep their emotions and feelings bottled up for fear of being judged here on earth.  They fear rejection and hatred.  What kind of people have we become that those who are closest to us feel so far away; that feel as though they can't come to us and share what's happening and ask for our support and love?

There are some who have definite strong views one way or another on any particular subject.  We all have the freedom of choice.  But I believe what we truly lack is compassion.  This world has made so many of us so hard hearted, afraid to show compassion for fear of getting used and/or taken advantage of.  We have a tendency to forget that we also need someone to take compassion on us, that we also sometimes need grace and understanding and love.  We throw stones, but live in a glass house.  

As for me, I'm thankful that I'm not the judge.  We'll all do things that are wrong/sinful, and we'll all have to answer for our actions  when our time on this earth is over.  

If you're familiar with the Bible, you may remember the story of the woman caught in adultery who was about to be stoned.  Jesus showed up and said 'He that is without sin cast the first stone.' John 8:7.  They all dropped their stones because not one of them was without sin.  They'd all done something in their lives that was sinful.  It wasn't their job to be judging her.

As I get older, I realize that it's not my job to judge anyone else but myself.  I'm here to love people and not be a hypocrite.  Judgement is God's job and I'll leave that up to Him.  

I'll admit that I've been self-righteous in my life and when that's happened, I've stumbled.

Prov. 16:18

    

                              Pride goes before destruction, And                            a haughty spirit before a fall.

I've learned that when I don't humble myself, God will humble me.  Believe me, it's much better all the way around if you remain humble and teachable.  When you feel as though you're better than someone else and that you know everything, things will begin to crumble.

I hope that the next time a friend or family member approaches you with something in their lives that they've turned to you for help with, that you'll humble yourself and listen and be a source of support instead of raising your hand to cast a stone at them.

I pray that you're healthy, happy, safe, and that you have P.E.A.C.E. in your life!

Until we meet again my friends, stay humble, teachable and kind.

Love,

Finding True Love.........

Happy Sunday Gang!

Today's thought path has me struggling a bit.  

When I look around at people in this life, I begin to wonder if there truly is true love out there...  With all the social media access, how can anyone be truly faithful?  How can anyone truly know that they're the 'one & only' in someone's life?

Being out in the dating world, I can tell you it's not easy.  It's painful when you're out on a date with someone & they always seem to be looking at all the other women around, whether they're in person or online.  It makes me feel insecure & that I'm not good enough.  I end up going home & crying.  As someone who doesn't have the best self esteem, those situations certainly don't help in any way.

I've seen so many couples divorce that I thought were happy.  I realize there are different scenarios for each situation, but I often wonder if social media is behind many cases.  People used to be married for the long haul.  Now, it seems as though people divorce as easy as changing clothes.  When there is abuse, a divorce is needed most times to stop the abuse.  But in other situations, people 'find' someone else.  But why are we out there looking?  Especially if there is no strife in the marriage?  Social media seems to make the grass look greener on the other side.  Many times it truly isn't, but the mind begins to fantasize about the other side.  People dream up a perfect life.  If they follow through, they only cause heartache to a multitude of people.  Divorce not only affects the couple, but also each & every person in their lives.....children, siblings, parents, co-workers, etc.... everyone is affected.  Many times, depending on the circumstances, sides are taken creating even more heartache.

Having gone through a divorce & a recent break-up, I fully understand the repercussions involved. And because of this, I sit & ponder whether TRUE love actually exists.  I teeter back and forth between continuing to be open to the possibility of love and just remaining single.  I know myself well enough to know that I'll no doubt continue to look, but whether it will happen remains to be seen.

If you have any words of wisdom, please feel free to share.  

I pray that you're healthy, happy, safe and I pray that you have P.E.A.C.E. in your life!

Until we meet again my friends, have a great week and I hope YOU can find love if you're looking.

Love,

It's OK To Ask For Help!...................................

Happy Friday Gang! 

I'm so excited!  I get to spend a couple days with someone I care about and have good conversation and laughter.  What's on your weekend agenda?  Fun, I hope!! :)

Today's thought path is one that can be difficult for some people to accept...................  It's OK to ask for help!

In this day and age, people think that asking for help is a sign of weakness.  That is FAR from true.  

I like to consider myself a 'helper'.  If I see someone struggling with something, I have a tendency to jump in and help.  I have also found out, through personal experience, that some people take offense to this even though they do NEED the help.  

A former boss of mine would struggle with the copy machine.  When I would jump up to help her, she became rude and aggressive.  After a couple of these incidents, I backed off.  It was painful for me to watch her struggle, but after a few times she finally humbled herself and asked me for help.  It had to be HER choice/decision to help her to feel better about asking.   By me just jumping in to help, it made her feel as though I was saying she was incapable, which wasn't my intent in the least.

We live in a society of independence..........'you can do it yourself, you don't need anyone's help', etc....  Now don't get me wrong.  I'm all for independence.  If we go too much the other way, we become needy.  As in all things, there is a fine balance.  

The main thing is, when you need help, please don't be afraid to ask for it.  When you're truly caught in a tough situation and can't figure things out or don't have the resources to do what you need to do, humble yourself and ask for help.  Most people will be more than happy to lend a helping hand.  

If you're anything like me, I hate to bother people, but in actuality it makes them feel needed, helpful and loved, not seeing you as a bother or a burden at all.

I've also learned that you can't help someone unless they accept the help.  Sometimes people just have to muddle in their own muck for a while to get to the humble point of reaching out.  I think we've all been there a time or two. ;)

Anyhoo.......... time to get on with the day!

I pray that you're healthy, happy, safe and I pray that you have P.E.A.C.E. in your life!

Until we meet again my friends, have an awesome weekend!

Love,

One of Those Days.....................

Happy Monday Gang!

The sun is shining, so we need to be happy! Right?..................

It's not that I'm not having a good day, it's just one of those days for me when I'm thinking and re-thinking and re-thinking again about so many things in my life.

I'm trying to move on from a relationship I had for a little over a year.  It's never been easy for me to walk away.  I see his face on Facebook, I see when he's actively on, I see his posts....... You may be saying 'Then stop following him or Unfriend him'..........  Right now I just can't.  I wish I could.  I would define what I'm going through as a type of mourning process.  My head certainly knows the deal, my heart on the other hand, just hasn't quite caught up yet.  He was the first man after my divorce that I established a relationship with.  Because of that, my heart is reminiscing today.  I'm not sure why today of all days, but............

I haven't talked to him in several days, so that helps a bit.  I just need my heart to catch up so I can fully move on.  I think about the happy times we've had, but I also remember those times when I've had to call him out on things that just weren't right, that were disrespectful to me.  That helps to reign my heart back in.  

There's nothing quite as painful in a relationship than when it's pretty much one sided.....when you've reached out so many times because you care and put him first, but it's not reciprocated.  For me, it makes me fee unlovable, unwanted and unneeded.  It makes me begin to wonder what's wrong with me.  But that's not the case.  Anyone can try to force love, but if one isn't attracted, it just means they're not attracted.  That's no reflection on the quality of person the other one is.  

We all can't like everyone we meet, that's just a given.  We're also not going to fall in love with everyone we meet.  What a crazy world THAT would be if it were so!  

I'm back out there dating again.  It's not easy, that's for sure.  Sometimes I just want to be settled down with someone already and sometimes I just feel like I'd be better off alone.  The first part was my heart and the second part was my head.  

God didn't put us on this earth to be alone.

Genesis 2:18 NIV

The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”

He wants us to be in a loving and fulfilling relationship, not to live life alone.  I just wish I knew what His plan is for me. LOL  I just need to get into prayer and ask Him .......... and then LISTEN.......

Anyhoo...............

I pray that you're healthy, happy, safe and I pray that you have P.E.A.C.E. in your life!

Until we meet again my friends, have an amazing week!  Be sure to tell your significant other (if you have one) how much you love and care about them.  We all need a loving reminder.

Love,

Hollar.........................

Happy Friday Gang!!  

We made it through another week together!! Woot Woot!

This is just going to be a short blurb today.

A friend recently introduced me to a cool website.  Have you ever heard of www.hollar.com ?

This blog is definitely NOT sponsored in any way, shape or form.  I just wanted to share it with all of you.  They have a vast array of items.  I just received an order of puppy pads (for my 2 little pups when I'm gone for the day), some Revlon foundation and some JCat makeup primer.  

When you shop with them you get money off of future orders.

Here is some great info about Hollar:

The order I received yesterday was my second one from them.  My first order contained a pet bed for the boys and with my first purchase discount, I was able to get their bed for only $4!  I was totally stoked about that!  

You can get food, electronics, pet supplies, makeup and so much more.  You really should just check it out for yourself and let me know what you think!

I pray that you're healthy, happy, safe and I pray that you have P.E.A.C.E. in your life!

Until we meet again my friends, I hope you have a beautiful and blessed weekend.  Remember.......life is NOT a dress rehearsal.  Live your life now.  Don't wait!

Love,